set an intention

I was brushing my teeth the other morning when my husband came in and said “Did you set any intentions for this year?”. I laughed and reminded him that, yes, I set so many and we had talked about them, remember? He looked at me and said, “I thought those were all jokes?”. And he was right, they kind of were – finally finish rewatching The OC, bake/eat more cookies, continue to be awesome (j/k), eat more guacamole. 

I thought about it for a minute and asked him “What are your intentions?” and he shared his and I thought about what I really wanted to set as an intention – to get back to walking/hiking more, visit our trails and parks more, have a regular fitness routine. And to wake up and get out of the house on time. 

This was the big one that got me thinking. Logistically, to get out of the house by a certain time, we would need to wake up earlier than we had been last year, which meant get to bed earlier than we had been, which meant a more streamlined evening and nighttime routine. Easier said than done with kids. 

The first week, we maybe got out at the ideal time 3 out of 5 days. 

So, we could look at it two ways:

  1. We didn’t do it. In our first week, we failed at getting out of the house on time watch day. And maybe, it was too hard and we should just forget about it, or push ourselves to do better because we are not good enough yet. It’s pass/fail and we failed. 
  2. We didn’t do it every day, BUT we got three out of 5! That’s an improvement and it is making steps towards this becoming more routine and more easily done. On those days that things did not align ro get out in time, what was going on? Did we not sleep well, were the kids up at night, or did something else happen? What could make it easier – maybe pack lunches or plan clothes the night before, know where our bags are, etc. it’s all about the small wins. 

It’s still the same situation and scenario. Neither way of looking at it changes what happened, but it does change how we continue to move forward with it and what can happen in the future. 

The first viewpoint focuses on what went wrong and how it will not work. It gives no timeframe, no room to improve, and expects it to be right immediately. The second focuses on the truth – it didn’t happen every day – and also on what went well and worked, and ways to shift what didn’t. It gives more time, expects less to start, and focuses on continuing to learn, grow, and move forward. 

It takes it from being a thing to check off on a Resolution “To-Do List” and turns it into a skill to learn and use. 

While this is my intention for the year, it can also transfer into how you go about your stress management and mindset as an SLP this year, especially as you set intentions for the year ahead. 

New Year’s goals aren’t meant to make you perfect, but they can definitely drive perfectionism, which most likely is something you are already grappling with as an SLP. 

One way to shift out of this is to look at your intention for the year (or just for a fresh start at any time) is to look at the goal as a progression, not as perfection. Much like the goals you set for your students. Goals aren’t meant to be mastered immediately. They are meant to be worked up to, little by little, while learning the skills needed to master those goals as you go.

Imagine if you set a goal for your student and expected them to achieve it right away. They (and you) would feel defeated and likely give up after not being able to perfect the enormous amount of skill that reaching that goal right away entailed. You would both probably give up, feel stressed, and feel like you had “failed”. All because you expected it to be perfect right away. 

The same goes for the intention you have for yourself. If you want to work on reducing and managing your stress, then it is ok if you are still feeling stress for days, weeks, or months, or even years, after you begin working on it. It is not about getting it perfect, or reducing it entirely, but about learning new things and growing along the way. 

With perfectionism, the idea is that there aren’t challenges. If things are challenging, and you have to try to learn them and figure it out, then it must be wrong and not for you. But in order to grow and continue to learn, challenge is to only an OK thing, but a welcomed thing. While it seems nice for everything to be simple, easy and challenge-free, if it was that way, life would be stagnant.

Whether your intention is to recycle more, meditate regularly, move your body each day, have a morning routine, hold amazing SLP sessions, or feel less stressed in your work overall, aim for growth rather than perfection. 

Look at the two viewpoints I could take from my intention I mentioned before. 

The first viewpoint focuses on what went wrong and how it will not work. It gives no timeframe, no room to improve, and expects it to be right immediately. The second focuses on the truth – it didn’t happen every day – and also on what went well and worked, and ways to shift what didn’t. It gives more time, expects less to start, and focuses on continuing to learn, grow, and move forward. 

It takes it from being a thing to check off on a Resolution “To-Do List” and turns it into a skill to learn and use. 

When you are setting a goal or intention for yourself, or if you already have, here are a few things to try.

How to Set an Intention that Lasts All Year

  1. What is my expectation? Check in and see if this is something you are planning to have perfect right away or are going to keep working with over time. 
  2. What is my reason for this? Look at what you are setting and connect with it – what is the reason behind it. If you want to get up early, is it because you “should” and you “fail” at mornings, or because you want to ease into your day instead of rush. 
  3. What are some small steps you can take? Instead of an overhaul, look at one tiny thing you can do each week to build into the bigger picture you envision. 
  4. Where is this working? When you restart and as you go, check in and notice the places you are putting into practice, or where your strengths for this are. Then play off of those to help out the places you’re struggling. 

Here is something to remember and to remind yourself of: A little makes a difference.

Even if you are not seeing huge leaps towards your students goals, or you yourself are not making giant steps towards your intentions, that little bit makes all the difference. It is a small step forward, keeping the momentum building and the growth happening. It is not perfect and that means it is not stagnant. It is likely messy and that is learning. 

In fact, small shifts and changes, even little tiny baby steps, are more effective than giant, sweeping changes, because they build gradually over time and are easier to stick with once they are learned. 

So, rather than overhaul your life immediately with your intentions this year, and expect immediate changes with a pass/fail indicator, go for a big intention with small steps to reach it all year and into the years to come. 

When you take this perspective, it can help to give you more freedom and space, to feel less stuck and stressed, and to help with preventing added stress and burnout. 

What small wins did you have with your intentions this year? Share below!

Want some resources to help you keep taking those small steps towards less stress? Make sure to sign up for the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox, including yoga classes, meditations and more. 

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With Love and Light, 

Jessi