“I am so stressed out!” – SLPs everywhere, all the time

As an SLP (and human), stress is no stranger. There is plenty of it around, both in and out of your work day. And it can seem like it only grows, or there are new things to stress you out each day. Stress can show up easily and regularly, but that doesn’t make it as easy or simple to deal with and figure out what to do about. 

It’s not that you haven’t tried to do something about it, or wondered how to make things less stressful. It’s that it doesn’t seem to help, and, more often than not, the stress just shifts and grows. 

It’s not for lack of effort. You are there, trying to make your day less stressful and work around or remove those stressors. But it just feels stressful, still. While you feel like you are constantly trying to manage your stress, it could be making it worse. 

You might find yourself trying to manage your stress by doing things that are actually going to make it a lot worse. These are strategies and things that sound like they would be helpful, seem like they would simplify things, and are often the go-to strategies for many of us.

But instead of making things easier, and lessening the stress, they do the opposite.

They add more time to your day, tighten an already tight schedule, drive perfectionism, and leave you feeling more stressed and drained from pushing so hard to do it all, all the time. And as far as the original stress? It doesn’t do anything about it, except ignore it, and this only allows it to grow and build up, leading to an even bigger source of stress.

This is also why it feels so challenging to do anything about the stress you face – because no matter what you try, it just seems to get worse and things seem harder.

When this happens, it is usually a sign that you are accidentally avoiding your stress, rather than managing it. 

Avoiding your stress can look like doing things that try to prevent it from happening in the first place, which doesn’t work because stressors are EVERYWHERE and are going to show up, even in ideal situations and settings. 

It can also look like trying to control every part of your day, so that stress does not have a chance to happen. Or you might even notice that you are trying to push it aside and push through your work. 

All of these create more stress around the stressors themselves, and increase, rather than decrease the stress you are feeling. 

Here are some signs you might be avoiding your stress:

• Pushing through
  • If you feel like you are constantly trying to keep going, through the stress, to do just a little bit more and get a little more done, and then you’ll be able to relax, unwind, and decompress from the stress, you are most likely pushing through.
  • This can look like doing just one more planning session, writing one more report, finishing one more blog post or social media post, answering one more email, even when you are feeling drained, depleted, and mentally exhausted. 
  • The way this contributes to stress is that it keeps you feeling even more stressed, is that it never really allows you to not be stressed. If you keep going until you finish all the work, and then take a moment to manage stress, you will never get there. Work is continual. There will always be more (that is not to scare you!). It never gives you a break to help you shift out of stress mode, and ends up depleting you even more.
  • Try instead: Take a short break or step away for a moment. If you must have it done today (like a report or deadline), then take a short break to refresh. It allows your body to let go of tension, recharges your energy, and gives your brain some space to recharge. Then you can focus better, think clearer, and get the work done without feeling the added drain and stress.
• Organizing/planning/prepping just a little more
  • Oh, this is a tough one to learn and wrap our prep-plan-organize-SLP brains around. Part of it is because it is what you were most likely shown to do in clinicals and observation hours. You watched and learned from your supervisor and clinical mentor to prep, plan, and organize more and more until it is *just right*. But, let’s think about it – they were most likely a super stressed out SLP, too. 
  • It also really seems to make sense – if you do a little more and get it a little more perfect, then you will be more prepared and get ahead of the stress. But that’s not how stress works – there is no getting ahead of it, it will be there no matter what, but maybe in a different form. 
  • And this is really about looking far ahead and not being in the present, which can lead to that anxiety and stress about what could happen if.
  • This also backfires, because it doesn’t teach you how to manage stress, it just helps you try to avoid it. But eventually, there will be something that you can not avoid, and then you won’t have tools to use when you face it. 
  • Instead try this: plan, prep, organize a little but not to avoid stress. If things look like they could be stressful, or unmanageable, take a pause and check in with yourself. Then take a few deep breaths and focus on the breath itself. Maybe notice 5 things you hear or see or smell or feel or taste, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1, working through the senses. This can help you drop into the present and your body again, and out of the future and your headspace.  
• Controlling it all
  • This is a lot like planning, prepping and doing more. It does not give you tools to manage the stress you face. With controlling you are doing everything you can to completely avoid it or prevent the stress from happening. You are planning everything down to the minute, trying to get all of the information, and making sure that everyone else is too. 
  • It also looks like micro-managing your stress, and controlling how you work on it. Planning out every moment that you will do an activity to help it, allowing when it will show up, and constantly thinking about the stress around you. This just sounds stressful.
  • It creates more stress, because it adds to the work SO much. But it also is unrealistic. Things will show up or take longer or you might need a break, and, if not in the schedule, it will throw everything off and add to more stress. Like when you don’t check everything off your to-do list. 
  • Instead of controlling, try this: Give more space and freedom in your schedule. Maybe pick 1-3 things to do that day, not a full list of it ALL. If a stressor occurs, bring awareness to it and then check in with yourself. Use a tool when you can, and create ways to infuse your day with stress management (start or end of the work day or day perhaps), rather than constantly pushing and controlling your day. 
• Ignoring and moving on anyway
  • Well, this is used a lot and really never works in any situation, stress-related or not. 
  • If you ignore the stress and continue to move on, it sounds good. It sounds powerful and reaffirming. It won’t get you down. But it is not true to the reality of what is happening, which can set you up for some toxic positivity, and eventually feeling like you are “wrong” for the stress you feel.
  • It also allows the stress to keep growing and building, like a weed in your yard that you try to cover or “just not look at”. It will keep getting bigger until it seems impossible to do anything about.
  • Instead try this: If you are faced with stress, that is ok! There will always be stressors, but they do not have to stick with you. Notice how you are feeling at that moment. Then brain dump (journal for 5 minutes) about it. It gets it out of your head and gives you a new place for it to be, and gives you the chance to explore it again later. 

It is really easy to slide into the mode of avoiding stress in order to not feel it or face it. But this is what usually makes it so much worse. Instead, try to manage it, not avoid it. When you manage it, not micromanage, you are no longer avoiding and controlling it, but learning to live with it and move through it.  Stress itself is just a response in your brain and body, it is the stressors you face that are what you are reacting to. You can not change what shows up or control it, but you can rewire the way you focus and look at the stress you face. 

Give the tools above a try when you notice you are avoiding your stress.

If you need even more tools and want to dive deeper into learning about stress and how to manage it, without adding to your stress, join me for the SLP Stress Management Course, now open for enrollment thru April 14th, 2022.

You can find out all the details here: SLP Stress Management Course

Which one do you relate to the most? Leave a comment below or send me a message at jessi@jessiandricks.com

With Love and Light, 

Jessi