I recently had a talk with some people about stress. The conversation was about feeling stressed by others stress and walking away from it. It was about how to avoid feeling stressed by work and life. It was about how hearing stories form others about how much they are struggling is too much, and makes you want to turn away. It was a conversation about daily stress. Mostly, about running away from it.

It is a conversation that I have had come up more than once over the last few months.

In the Stressed Out SLPs Facebook group, we often share the things at work that leave us feeling the most stressed. Then other people can comment, give you a boost or help you figure out a solution. I often share some of the tips and tricks that I write about here, as well as do LIVE videos and leave additional information or share articles. It is place that is meant to lift you up, not by constantly making you laugh (which is a good thing at times), but by helping you to really take charge and make changes to your schedule, job, caseload, etc, or at least to let you know that you are not alone in the struggle.

The criticism recently has been that hearing about other people’s stress would just make you more stressed out, add to your own stress or perhaps not be “relaxing” enough. I am all about relaxing (I’ve taught yoga for over 7 years), but I also recognize that anxiety, panic and overwhelm are not things that can be laughed off in one sitting or should be pushed aside if they make you uncomfortable. These are the things that will only continue to get worse until you get real with them, get upfront and start to do the work.

It is hard, it is not always fun and it is not quick and painless. But it feels damn good to take charge of your stress, get support and be able to lean on people when you need them. This is what leads to a breakthrough in your life.

And the ugly part about the process of breaking through? More often than not, a breakthrough looks a hell of a lot like a breakdown.

I remember hearing those words in a yoga class in 2011. I had just finished up the summer, and had yet to receive a contract for the upcoming school year. And I was thrilled. The previous school year had left me feeling more burnt out and unsure of my career choice than ever, and I had been able to teach more and more yoga classes over the summer. The thought of giving those up, something I loved and that nourished me, to go back into the school year, something I didn’t love and that drained me, was almost unbearable. I was happily ignoring the fact that my contract could come through any day, until I got the email – they had a placement for me.

I cried for the entire morning. My heart ached and I felt lost, alone and confused. I felt like a piece of me was being torn apart. I told myself that I was a spoiled brat for not appreciating the offer and my degree and all the hard work and money that had gone into it. I wanted to crawl into bed and hide. Instead I got my butt onto the yoga mat, per my husband’s push. I sat in class with one of my favorite teachers, and heard her say the words “A breakthrough often looks like a breakdown. It is only then, when you feel like you’ve hit the bottom, that you can rebuild anew”. It struck me very deeply, for at that very moment, I was feeling like I was at rock bottom, unable to breathe, and feeling like I was worthless. I realized that this didn’t have to be a breakdown for me, this could be the moment where I rise up and rebuild, breaking through to make new.

I started the job, but looked for a new position. It wasn’t easy and led to many ups and downs, but eventually, I found where I needed to be, and where I could do work that was fulfilling.

If I hadn’t let myself feel all the pain, face all the struggles and work through it, I never would have been able to let go of that stress. I never would have made it beyond burn out and back into a place of balance. Not every day is perfect and blissful. I have had moments, even recently, where all of these feelings have come flooding back in, because I stepped back and ignored the stress and my real desires for too long. The difference now is that it doesn’t take as long to bounce back and let go of the stress again. Without doing the work and staring my stress right in the face, this would never have been possible.

Stress can really bring you down, especially when it is triggered b the stress and overwhelm in others. If you are feeling stressed and like it is easier to look the other way, it might be time to face up to it.

Here are 3 ways you can face up to your stress, so you can begin to work through it:

Put down the remote and pick up a journal: 

• You might notice that, when you are stressed out, you go into one of two modes: manic panic, where you have to be doing something at every second, or, the more common, zone out and ignore. If you do the latter, you might find yourself sitting in front of your TV, binge watching your favorite shows. While it is nice to take a break and not think for awhile, this really only helps temporarily. Eventually, you have to deal with the stress that is mounting. As soon as you turn off the power and go to bed, those thoughts and feelings will show up again, exhausting you for another day.
• Instead of zoning out to hours of TV, face your thoughts through writing. A simple writing or journaling practice can help you sort out your thoughts, get them out of your head and help you keep track of how you are doing each day. I helps you to identify potential triggers for stress, patterns of stress and anxiety, and even just helps you to not forget things. Allow yourself to write out any thoughts, feelings or events that have happened during your day. You can do this by jotting down a few notes, by writing a letter to yourself, or even by just free flow writing for 5 minutes.

Stop overworking and take a break:

• Overworking can sometimes be a way for us to just keep on going, so we don’t have to face the overwhelming pile of work and tasks that we need to get completed. However, without a break, we usually continue to fall more and more behind. You need a pause sometimes. Your brain needs time to recharge. You need a break and you need it every single day. If you find yourself working through your entire day straight, without a proper lunch break, or working early and late hours, you are overworking yourself. This constant work with no break throws off your balance in your body, but also in your life. You might grow hungry and fatigued, or feel like your head is foggy if you haven;t gotten up to drink water, eat something or move your body a bit. This is not so great for you physically, but it also make it harder to focus on your work. This difficulty focusing on the task at hand, whether therapy or paperwork, can make it hard to really be effective and efficient. You might find yourself taking longer to provide the same amount of therapy or staring at a blank page because you just can’t help but zone out.
• When you take a break, you give yourself a much needed downtime. This allows your brain to focus on something else, or nothing at all, for a few moments. It refuels and refreshes your body and gets your energy flowing again. After your break, you’ll find you are ready to work harder and more efficiently again.
• Try stretching, getting up for a walk or snack, drinking water or tea and leaving work at work, even if there is more to do.

Drop the multi-tasking

• This is a big one. As a culture, and especially in a busy work environment, multi-tasking is almost an expectation. It seems as though the only way to get everything done is if we do paperwork while we read up on our new schedule or patients, to check emails while we return voicemail, and do treat multiple patients at a time, or be thinking about the next patient while we are in a session with our current patient.
• All of this multi-tasking can seem like a great way to save time and a fantastic skill to have, but truthfully, it almost always ends up backfiring. In fact, it usually makes things more stressful. Multitasking becomes another way that we just keep hustling through the day, without facing the fact that what we are doing isn’t sustainable and will eventually lead us to break down.
• When you take a chance to stop multi-tasking, it might be very overwhelming and stressful. This is because you are making a change in the way you do things, which is always a little scary. It is also because you might really come face to face with all of the things that stress you out. You might feel a little bit out of control with your workload, and it might make you want to revert right back into doing more things at once. Instead, see if you can make a list of the things you have, so you can see them. Then make a plan to start tackling them one at a time, until they are finished.
• Tackling on task at a time helps you to stay more present to the moment, to how you feel and to your life. When you are more present to the situation at hand, you are able to move through it more efficiently and you also might find a bit more enjoyment out of it. Think about watching a movie – when you have your laptop open, you miss most of it and it is over before you really get to sink into it. But when you just watch a movie, time seems to expand, you pick up on all the little nuances in the dialogue or sets and you fully participate and enjoy it until it is over.

Stress can completely take over your life if you let it build. You might feel like the best thing to do is just push it behind you, but it often shows up anyway, full force and stronger than ever. If you take some steps to face it, work through it and make some changes in your daily habits, you might find it is easier to manage and your work life becomes more sustainable and balanced.

Give these 3 tips a try, or maybe just try 1, and leave a comment below with your experience. If you are looking to reduce your stress even more and find balance in overall life as an SLP, check out these Continuing Ed Webinars (you’ll earn certification hours!):

3 Common SLP Stressors and How to Manage Them  on Xceptional ED (1.5 CMH Hours)

Managing Common SLP Stressors before Burn Out Occurs on Northern Speech Services (2.5 ASHA CEU hours .025 units)

3 Biggest Stressors for SLPs and What to Do About Them on Speechpathology.com (1.5 hours ASHA CEU .15 units)

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Much Love,