I recently attended a 1-day seminar, where we learned all about how our thoughts create and shape what we see as out reality, and how, because of this, we are able to change how we feel about things, by changing the way we think about them. It might sound a little “woo-woo” or “out there”, but this was all evidence-based and related to the fields of psychology and coaching.
There were many parts that absolutely blew my mind, but one of the biggest pieces was a question that was asked, of us (for those moments we felt stuck or defeated) and of our clients: “How is that working for you?”
It was a little bit blunt, but really honed in on something I have been experiencing when I hear from and talk with fellow SLPs. The vast majority of us are really stressed out, overwhelmed and ready to scream, throw something or quit. There are so many frustrations over the negativity of others, the need for perfection, and, of course, the three big stressors: paperwork, productivity, and caseloads. Most of the SLPs I talk with are just not happy. Some have completely lost their passion for the field, while others are still passionate but are feeling used, underappreciated and have no support. The profession as a whole is reaching out and begging for something, or someone, to help out and give them the tools or strategies to make it better.
But when presented with these solutions, most, even those so desperately clinging on with all of their might, are very skeptical to use that help. Instead, SLPs do what comes naturally – research it on our own, try to make it fit exactly as it needs to, and not asking for help. I know this because it is what I see us doing everyday and it is exactly what I did for the three years I was burnt out, before quitting and taking 5 years off to heal on my own.
As SLPs, we tend to struggle with our work and life balance. For some of us, we just don’t know what we should be doing to make it better. We simply lack the tools to manage them both. For others, we know what to do and are even putting them into use, but they don’t seem to be working very well, which can make it seem like it’s not really worth it It is very rare to find the SLP who has a fantastic balance between the two and doesn’t have some sort of help in creating that balance.
Here is the thing, if we had speech and language difficulties, we wouldn’t try to treat them ourselves, even though we are trained. We wouldn’t treat out own children or probably even a close friends child, because we are too close to the situation to see the big picture and what is working and what isn’t. It the same with our own stress management. We often know what to do, and sometimes even try a few things, but we are often stressed out despite all the mindfulness, self-care and guidance, because we just don’t know how to make it work effectively and what we specifically need.
This brings me back to that questions that was posed at the seminar – “How is that working for you?”
When the discussions of stress management or burn out prevention comes up, I often hear from many SLPs who are completely lost but even more who share their self-care routines. This is incredible and such an amazing thing to see and hear about. But it is often these same SLPs who are feeling the most stressed. It is not that they aren’t trying, but they are often just adding in more to their day, stressing out more about their stress and not really embracing and putting to use the self-care that works best for them.
At the end of the day or week, they are still left feeling drained, stressed and overwhelmed by the work they are doing. They are still struggling.
If this sounds at all like you, whether you are using self-care or just feeling stressed all the time, I have a question to ask of you: “What is the cost of staying where you are?”
This is a question I often ask during my coaching consultations. It might be about finances, but the cost here can go even deeper, talking about the emotional cost of staying where you are. When you imagine your retirement day, and looking back on your career, do you want to look back and think “Thank goodness I never have to do a day of that again” or “I can’t believe I made it out alive, not I can finally start living and stop stressing”. Or would you rather look back and think “What a rewarding experience to live fully and work in a field I was passionate about. I will miss this, but am ready to move on to new adventures”.
These are two completely separate thoughts and ways of living in the world. The first set of thoughts is a more negative and fear-based approach, It is just trying to survive while pushing through until you get to the reward. The second is a more positive, abundance-based approach, where you are thriving each day and feeling rewarded throughout your life. The cost of staying where you are is being stuck in scenario one for the life of your career or scenario two.
It took me many years to get to the place of living in scenario two. Those first few years in my career were tumultuous and would have kept going that way, or getting worse, if I hadn’t taken a break. But taking 5 years off is not for everyone, nor should it be. If I had known there were resources and people who could help guide me through my burn out and manage my stress properly, I probably would have been able to stay in the field and find a way to thrive in my life.
If you are feeling this way, I now ask you the question directly – “What is the cost of staying where you are?”, “How is it working for you?”.
If either of these answers brings up something that does not feel positive or passionate about your work and you life, you may be feeling stuck, unsatisfied and could use some support and guidance to help you through.
If this is you, I invite you to sign up for a consultation. These sessions are free and can be done in 30 minutes, during lunch, in the evening or even on a weekend. Together we will discuss what is working for you, what places you feel stuck and stressed, how that stress affects you specifically, and what you want your work and life to look like instead. We also talk about coaching (with no obligation to sign up) and what our sessions together would be like, as well as what it sounds like your specific needs would be. Each consultation also offers a take away for you to start doing that day (it is different for everyone) to help you feel more balanced and less stressed.
You can sign up here or email jessi@jessiandricks.com to set up a time. It is free and could be the first step to take you from surviving to thriving, and help you find a positive answer to “How is that working for you?”.
Much Love,
