boundaries to set as an SLP

The life of an SLP – bringing work home, staying late, going in early, taking on way more than is possible (not always by choice), never feeling like you did enough, always having more work to do, working on weekends, bringing it home (to either work at night or feel guilty about the pile of papers still in your bag)…and the list goes on

Yes, there are also super enjoyable and rewarding parts of the job as well. 

Things like, helping people communicate more efficiently and with function, educating families and providers and educators on the best practices and the ones that remember to bring humanity back in, that moment when you see the student or patients hard work pay off and they reach that big goal. The feeling that you made a difference in the world and that even bigger feeling that the person you work with is making a difference in the world. 

And, sometimes, it’s just fun. It can be a really fun profession to work in.

You can sing songs with kids, have dance parties to follow directions, play silly games, read and make-up stories, and have conversations with adults about alllllll kinds of things while working in their communication. 

Unfortunately, those parts that are super hard often outweigh or start to erase the other pieces. 

For one – it is how your brain is wired. You are automatically going to look for the negative and the challenge (without looking for the opportunity to grow), and start to focus more and more on these things. It does not mean there is something wrong with you, it is the way your brain tries to protect you and alert you to potential stress and threats that could harm you. But really, its the constant alerts that do the most harm – keeping your stress response turned up and leaving you in a constant state of stress, overwhelm, and , eventually, burnout. 

So what can you do to make it better?

This like advocating, changing the system, reworking policies, and the like are always hot topics and ABSOLUTELY need to be done. BUT there will still be stress in them. The real thing to do – so that you can be grounded and ready to take those bigger actions – is to start managing and turning down the stress response, so that you can start to see not only the negatives and challenges, but those good and beautiful pieces again. 

A super helpful way to do this, and to create much more ease in your day, is by creating better boundaries as an SLP. 

The lines of work and home are often very blurred for SLPs, due to the nature of the work, the workloads that many face (especially in the school systems), and the need to so it *perfectly* or fear that you are not enough (aka Imposter Syndrome, which runs wild in our field – thanks grad schools!). It is more common than not to bring work home or stay late, to work outside of your paid hours, and to not feel you’re able to say “no” – or just not be used to saying “no”, so it is really hard to do. 

All of these breakdown any boundaries that help you have time to shift your brain to new things, process your day, and work through the stress, while finding time for joy, hobbies, and just life that is not revolving around being an SLP. 

Setting up better boundaries can help you to find the space for other parts of your life again. 

Here are 3 Types of boundaries to set as an SLP (and human!): 

Physical Office Boundaries:

This is important if you share space or if you are working from home. Having a physical space that has a literal boundary is incredibly important. As SLPs, we like to joke about how we often have a closet, corner or a room, or shared space of 3 SLPs to do our work in, and we joke, because if we didn;t, then we would probably break down. It is really, really hard to do your job without a proper space. But it is also really hard to set boundaries of “sorry, I am unavailable” or “I am working on something and can;t talk right now”, or just having some quiet time to think. 

If you are working from home, make sure you have walls and a door, so you can do the work. And, if this is not possible, set up some kind of partition or divider, so you can have more of a room to work in. It helps to send the message of “this is my (sacred) space, you need permission to be here”.

And that, OMG, is a huge thing.

Emotional/Mental Boundaries:

The biggest part of this is being able to set boundaries that help with your mental health and emotional needs – specifically setting the boundary of “No”. This can seem really hard to do, and it is. You are probably not used to being able to say no in your work (again, thanks grad school), or letting someone know that it is not something you want or realistically can do. 

I get it. As an SLP, there are so many things that contribute to wanting to say yes to everything. Not wanting to disappoint or upset someone, not wanting to admit you can’t do it (perfectionism), not wanting to seem weak, fear of being fired, wanting to prove our profession is just as amazing as others, not wanting to be overlooked so you do it all to please everyone. 

But saying “No” is a huge boundary that does one thing – creates more space. 

By saying “no”, you set a boundary that protects your mental health, by reducing stress and the overwhelm of taking on more. It also gives you more room emotionally to recharge and process your day. And it frees up time for really focusing and delivering on the things you are already doing. 

And, saying “No” is the best way to advocate. If you take it all on, then it becomes expected of you and other SLPs to do the same, and then take on even more. 

PS If you fear saying “no” because of being fired, you should probably get out of there now. It’s toxic, not worth your time and effort, and there are other places to work that would honor and support you. 

Schedule/Day Boundaries

When I worked in teletherapy, I once had someone say to me “Isn’t it great you can take your work anywhere?:

I heard this a LOT when more people started working from home, and especially over the pandemic. 

And, yeah, at first that sounds great. You could go on endless “vacations” or travel, and at least in the fantasy world. In reality, it means that when you do go on a vacation, you are still working, not really on vacation, and your home-work boundaries get blurred. So there is no break, no breast and no recharge – just the added stress of everyone else checking out for vacation while you sit in a hotel room and type on your computer, or stay up until 11:45pm working after a day of fun. 

This happens on a smaller scale in your daily routines, and this is perhaps where it builds even bigger. Taking work home, going in early or staying late, not getting paid for the work outside of therapy time. All of this blurs the lines of work and home, and makes you feel like you are constantly working and constantly underpaid, with no breaks, no rest, and no time to process. This is where stress breeds. 

Having boundaries of “this is when I work and after this, even if I am not done, I don’t do more” is a necessity to make it, to survive, and to thrive as an SLP. 

It is so important to set some boundaries as an SLP. Focus on these each week, month or school year, however works for you, and stick to them, knowing that you will only feel better about the work because of it. 

If you are feeling more and more stressed from your work, or that there is not a lot of time when you are NOT working, try looking at your current boundaries. 

Where are the lines between work and home blurring? Where can you make some adjustments?

Then start to put them into practice by taking action – write it down, let someone know if needed, and mark your calendar or set up some reminders. 

It will be challenging at first, but this is the type of challenge that helps you stretch, grow, and come out the other side stronger and steadier. 

What boundary are you most struggling with? Share in the comments!

Want more tools to help you manage and reduce your stress? Check out the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox. You can subscribe below by filling in your name and email, and you’ll get instant access to a library of audios, videos, and more to help you better manage and  reduce your stress.  

With love and light, 

Jessi

toxic positivity

As a Stress Management Coach and Mindfulness and Yoga Teacher, I love sharing how positivity can help to manage stress and build resilience. It is one of the foundational tools. But what about when it becomes “toxic”? When does being positive turn into something known as Toxic Positivity?

Have you ever heard phrases such as “Good Vibes Only” or “Just be Happy?”. These are well-intentioned, motivational phrases that also fall under the genre of toxic positivity. For a long time, I kind of brushed this aside, because I had used them (I have a shirt that says “Choose Happiness” that I sometimes can’t bring myself to wear), and I loved learning about the wonderful effects of positivity on stress and the brain. But there are times when this positivity can go a step too far and become toxic, or potentially harmful.

When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it can feel like there is nothing going right in your life and in the world. Your brain will continue to look for stress, in order to protect you from it, and this can keep you feeling more and more stressed. Often, especially when dealing with perfectionism which is high in the field of Speech Language Pathology, this can make you feel like there is something wrong or that you are “incorrect” and have failed. And then the stress grows a little more.

One thing you are likely to notice when you are stressed, is the type of language and phrases people use to show support or to give you advice, and how these are often not helpful at all. You might hear, from mostly well-intentioned people, something along the lines of “look on the bright side” or “at least it’s not as bad as this…”. These could come from a co-worker, a boss, your parents, a neighbor, or even a good friend, trying to cheer you up. Heck, you might even hear it from yourself.

While these are meant to cheer you up, the truth is, these often have the opposite effect, leaving you more stressed, frustrated, and isolated.

There is this clip from a movie, where one of the characters is going through a hard time, so he calls him mom, and she tells him to “stay chipper”. She means well, but it does nothing to help him out or feel that he was seen and heard.

And this can happen a lot in our own lives.

You tell a friend that you are experiencing something really hard and are very stressed, and they tell you “just smile and feel better”. And it feels as if you are talking to a wall or that you must be wrong in being stressed (which you are not). 

This can happen because instead of acknowledging how you feel and how much that stress must suck, or maybe even sharing that you are not alone and they have been there too (and then, “here is what helped me”), it just makes you feel that you are wrong and invalidates how you are feeling. Like you have a dirty little secret to hide.

The name for this is Toxic Positivity.

According to VeryWellMind, Toxic Positivity is defined as “…the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset.”. With toxic positivity, you ignore the growing stress and carry on as if everything is ok. You “just stay chipper”.

Toxic Positivity can lead to things like:

  • shame
  • guilt
  • frustration
  • isolation
  • more stress and overwhelm

This doesn’t mean that being positive or optimistic is bad or wrong, but that, when it is made to ignore the stress you are facing and only see the good, that it is no longer helpful or a stress management tool.

The phrase “good vibes only” sums it up pretty nicely- only positive and no room for anything else. 

Have you ever experienced Toxic Positivity in your life – from yourself or others? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

With Love and Light (not Positive Vibes Only), 

Jessi

PS If you are looking to learn even more about Toxic Positivity, how it might be showing up in your own life and work, and how to use positivity to build resilience, without being toxic, join me for the March 2022 workshop “Toxic Positivity vs Positivity” in The Resilient SLP Monthly Workshop Series.

You can find more details and how to join this series here: Workshop

myths about mindfulness

Mindfulness is pretty mainstream these days. There are apps and shows. Your mom might call you up to chat about an article she read. You might even have your boss recommending mindfulness, even when it seems really impossible to do. Even with this, there are still a lot of misconceptions and myths when it comes to the term mindfulness. 

You may have heard someone talk about these, or you might have a thought pop up in your remind when you go to do a practice or read about one. Mindfulness can still seem kind of out there – some thoughts or comments bring up images of sitting on a mountaintop in silence or pockets full of various crystals. And some just think of someone sitting and meditating for 10 hours a day. (Hey – no offense, I do like some of these, but also find them not always realistic. Looking at you 10 hours a day). 

But it’s not necessarily this way. Mindfulness, by definition, is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgment. With that being said, there are still a lot of misconceptions, and even myths about what mindfulness really is. 

Here are 5 myths about mindfulness and the truth behind them:

  • It’s too “woo” and new-aged
    • Mindfulness might seem like a new-age or “woo” thing that has to involve a lot of mystical concepts, card readings, crystals, and transcendence, but it absolutely doesn’t have to, and at its core is none of these.(FYI – I love playing around with a lot of these, and do not judge if you use these as a daily practice). And as far as being new-aged, while it might seem like this popped up as a mystical trend, mindfulness is based off of ancient practices rooted in yoga (5000 years old), Ayurveda, Hinduism and Buddhism – long before it became a “woo” and “new-aged” transcendental experience. Which brings me to…
  • It’s a religious practice
    • Sure, but only if you want it to be. While mindfulness and meditation may have come from practices that had religious roots, and many religions have mindful, meditative components (prayers, meditation, reflection, etc), mindfulness as we practice it is not religious based. It is a non-religious, science-backed practice that is designed to help you reduce the effects of stress and build resilience to them, by focusing, in the moment, and without judgment to how you are doing and what you are experiencing. Which leads to…
  • It’s doesn’t work and is not EBP (Evidence Based Practice)
    • This is an easy myth to fall into, and one you might hear a lot from naysayers, or even in the back of your mind. When it is not a tangible, physical practice that you can SEE the results of, it can be hard to know if it is working. I felt this way and wondered about this for a very long time, especially when I was a new SLP (with grad school drilling in the research part of EBP). Where is the research that shows it works?
    • Luckily, over the past decade and even more in the last few years, there has been more and more research to show that mindfulness practices help you to manage stress for the long-term and build resilience to it, so it doesn;t stick with you or take as long to recover from. 
  • It’s too easy/simple:
    • Ah, that’s the mind f*&^ of mindfulness. It is very simple and it is also very hard to do. And it’s even harder to put it into practice, in your day, consistently, in the real world. It’s like when you are working with a student or patient on a specific task and they know what to do and can tell you how to do it, but they just don’t put it into practice or know what to do when it’s time to actually do it. It’s like this – if it was so easy to do, it would already be part of your day. It takes some time and practice to start learning how to use mindfulness and how to make it consistent once you do. It is a process. 
  • It’s only meditation – nothing else
    • This one is a huge misunderstanding! Meditation is wonderful and a huge help for managing stress, and it is a mindfulness practice, but it is not the only mindfulness practice. Mindfulness can be used in any moment and with anything. Meditation is one of the most common and set ways to practice, but you could be mindful while doing the dishes or running or drinking your coffee or journaling, whatever it may be, if you are bringing awareness to it and observing what shows up. 
  • Bonus myth: It’s trendy.
    • This one is a bonus, because it’s not really a myth at all. Mindfulness, meditation, yoga, self-care, all of those are trendy right now. It’s not because they are a fad or a frivolous thing, but because they are so very needed with all that each of us continue to face and have more of each day. 

There you go – myths busted!

If you are looking to dive even deeper into mindfulness, join me in the upcoming workshop “What is Mindfulness” on February 24th, part of The Resilient SLP Monthly Workshop Series (you can also sign up for just this one workshop). 

You can find out more info here:  What is Mindfulness Workshop

Now that you have a few more insights into what mindfulness is and what it is not, I’d love to hear your thoughts: What myths about mindfulness have you heard? Leave a comment below, share on IG, or send me a message to jessi@jessiandricks.com

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

And if you are looking for some resources to get you started now, subscribe for more info and access to the SLP Toolbox resource library here:

building resilience

Stress is ongoing and ever-growing. There are tools you can use to manage it and help reduce it. And, while these are helpful and effective, they can also at times lead to feeling more overwhelmed and drained, the very things you are trying to work through, because you are so focused on the stress piece of the puzzle, micro-managing, always evaluating, and always focused on it.

If you shift your focus slightly, you can use these tools and strategies to not (micro)manage stress necessarily, but instead cultivate resilience around it. 

Resilience does not ignore the things that are really hard, seemingly impossible, and absolutely unfair. Instead it keeps you moving forward, not stuck in what is happening, but moving through it, feeling less overwhelmed and weighed down. It gives you hope and a way to take action. 

The APA defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress”. This could be with health, finances, relationships, small stress, major trauma, workplace requirements, all things out of your control, etc.

You feel it, you let it sink in, you maybe move forward or you let it all integrate to become a part of you, and then you move and grow from there. 

Resilience = Your Superpower when it comes to stress.

Before the pandemic, we were facing major stress in the SLP and Helping Profession workplaces, and it has only grown since then.

Even in an ideal world and workplace, stress would come along in some way. So if it its there and that is the reality of the situation (which sucks and is not how any of us thought our lives would go), this gives you a way to utilize it, move through it, learn from it, and come out the other side, a little easier each time. 

Resilience offers a way to work with that stress, not avoid or hyperfocus or micromanage it away. It does not mean you welcome it and are happy to receive it, or that you ignore the not-so-great feeling you have or experiences you face, or that you only see the brightside. It means that you can come back from the stressful moments easier, with less of them staying with you, with less feeling of being stuck in the stress with no way out. 

Here are a few things that building resilience can do for you:

  • Stop the constant managing of stress
    • Instead of constantly focusing on the stress you feel, how much it is growing or not, and if you can manage it a little more, resilience helps to not let the stress affect you as deeply, and continually work through it without your focus having to constantly be on it. 
  • Keep stress from growing
    • Resilience gives you tools to cut through the stress and move forward from it, without letting it continue to grow and overwhelm you. It allows you to build practices that reduce the stress response and shift out of negative thoughts and patterns. 
  • Help you build a foundation of (non-toxic) optimism
    • Resilience is rooted in positive psychology and the practice of noticing what is working, what you can learn, and noticing the positive aspects of your daily life. This helps to build true, non-toxic, optimism, which helps your brain to rewire the stress response. 
  • Help you come back from hard times easier
    • Resilience gives you the tools to notice how you are feeling in those tough and challenging moments, and then use the tools to move through it and come back faster, oftentimes stronger. It is not what you wish the stress on anyone, but that you use the experiences in it
  • Reduce the risk of chronic stress and burnout
    • Resilience helps to lessen how deeply you are affected and overwhelmed by stressors, and keeps them from continuing to grow and build, leading to chronic stress or burnout. 

Now that you have a little better understanding of what resilience is, you can start to bring more of it into your daily life.

What can resilience do for you? Share in the comments below.

If you want to learn even ore and dive deeper into this topic, make sure to check out the “Building Resilience” workshop, now available as a single workshop purchase until January 31st, or available at anytime with a membership to The Resilient SLP Monthly Workshop Series

In the Building Resilience workshop, you’ll:

  • Explore what resilience is and what it means
  • Learn why it is so important when working through stress
  • Look at ways to build resilience in your daily life
  • Practice some resilience building strategies
  • Make a plan for building your resilience

You can find out more details on the series and how to sign up here: The Resilient SLP

With Love and Light,

Jessi

practice mindfulness at work


Mindfulness is a key piece to managing stress and reducing your risk of burnout. It helps to rewire the pathways in your brain (meditation, specifically), reset your stress response, and shift your mindset and outlook. And, while there are practices that you may be using at home before and after work, you might be struggling with using mindfulness while at work. 

Like, how do you put these into practice within your daily routines and your daily work, beyond the start and end of your day?

Your breaks are far and few between, so cramming each moment with a mindful activity doesn’t always help with stress, and can sometimes make it worse (hand raised over here, because that;s what it did for me). It might seem kind of strange to stop in the middle of a session or your day to meditate for a few moments, because, well, it would be strange to do that. And taking a  pause to journal or deep breathe when a parent or caregiver walks in for a meeting may not be practical (although, those deep breaths can be subtle and undetectable if needed). So how can you actually practice mindfulness while in your work day?

The best way is to look at what you are already doing (whether you consider it to be a habit/schedule to keep or work on), and find ways to infuse it with a more mindful approach. Sounds a little abstract, right? Let’s solidify that a bit.

Here is How to Practice Mindfulness at Work:

  • Notice your autopilot
    • What moments in your day are you walking through without even thinking about them? Sometimes this can seem like a badge of honor. “I can do this in my sleep” type of a thought. And, you probably could. This can be incredibly mindless (opposite of mindful) though, and can lead to a disconnect between you and your work, and the people it serves, without meaning to. Think about being on autopilot for a meeting, report, or therapy session.
    • It most likely happens though in the in-between moments – walking to the mailroom/breakroom, going to get your next patient/student, getting out new materials, entering and leaving work. All of these moments can sometime breeze passed you without you even realizing, and can be an opportunity for you to be present and more mindful for them.
    • Instead of autopilot, recognize when it happens (that brings awareness), then feel your breath, notice your thoughts, and feel your feet on the ground. 
  • Mental Check-In: 
    • This can seem similar to the “auto-pilot”, but it’s not quite the same thing. A Mental Check-In is kind of like a break or pause, where you just stop to see how you’re doing and what you’re feeling. It seems kind of simple and almost silly, but it can be one of the biggest tools and things that you are not doing (because most of us aren;t taught to do it). 
    • A check-in helps you see where you are today, and what you can expect, realistically, so you don’t aim for perfection, feel frustrated, and berate yourself internally when you ”fail”. It gives you awareness of what is going on with you and for you that day, so you can use it to see how you’d show up and how things might affect you during your day.
    • And the bar NEVER has to be at 100% here.
    • You can take a moment during your day and just pause to ask yourself “How am I today?”. 
  • Find some quiet: 
    • It is so simple, but not done enough. Especially in the world of being an SLP or Helping Professional. You communicate and process things ALL DAY, which means that quiet rarely happens, either externally or internally. Taking a moment, even a minute, to just sit in silence can do so much to help you reset and recharge.
    • You can simply sit for a little while with some quiet (not even meditating, just sitting in silence), or try a few other things that are quiet – turn off the lights, breathe deeply, stretch, check-in with yourself, sip some water, meditate, etc.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, and it can be the start to help you build to more as you grow. Make sure to take care of yourself where you can – move around a little so you don’t get stiff or tense (that can add to mental tension, too), hydrate, caffeinate if needed (and maybe rehydrate), eat something so you can think and feel better, and speak kindly to yourself.

Which mindfulness practice are you going to try? Share in the comments or post about it in your IG stories and tag me @jessiandricks , or send an email to jessi@jessiandricks.com to let me know how it is going.

Also, do you want to learn how you can become more resilient as an SLP? The Resilient SLP is now open for enrollment. You can find more details about this monthly workshop series, and snag some FREE resources, by subscribing here (it’s free and I promise not to spam you): The Resilient SLP Info.

With Love and Light, 

Jessi