Recently (solidly over the last 6 months) I started running again. A few times a week, I lug my 2 kids to a nearby trail, load up with snacks (them, not me), and plop them into the running stroller. I put on some music and we start down the trail, 2 miles in a loop. By the end, I am sweaty (even in 30 something degree F weather, and definitely when it’s 90+F) and feel tired but energized. 

It might sound not so fun, but we all really do have a fun time on our runs. 

The thing is, when I started, it was really, really hard to do. 

• My knee hurt for a month or so the first time I started running again (back in March 2020, so I took a break until the Fall).
• My feet hurt.
• I had shin splints for a few weeks. 
• My legs would ache when I started to run.
• I would barely get through 2 miles.

Eventually, it started to get a little better – with the help of some new shoes and building up some strength. But, it could have also been really easy for me to feel defeated and not continue. I was running 2 miles, and feeling like I couldn’t go any further, when I used to be able to run half marathons. What was taking me nearly 30 minutes, and a lot of breaks, was something I used to be able to do in 20 minutes or less. 

It was incredibly frustrating at times, but it also gave me a place to work from. 

I could have been mad about a lot of things:

• My pace was slower
• My body felt heavier
• My legs were achy
• I couldn’t sprint without my legs hurting (and I LOVE sprinting right at the end)
• I was taking breaks. So many breaks in so short of a time.
• I was pushing nearly 70-80 lbs of kids and stroller

But I also remembered a few things:

• It had been 6 years since I had a steady running practice
• I had 2 kids since then
• I lived in a place with hills, not Florida or the South Carolina Lowcountry
• My shoes were really old, and my new shoes need to be broken in
• I was, well, older…

If I expected myself to be able to get out and run 13.1 miles, or even 4 or 6 miles, then, yes, I was going to be disappointed. It was unrealistic. And, if I set my expectations, or goals, to reach this really big amount of mileage, say in the next month or even year, I might also be really disappointed, or, more likely, I would feel defeated and probably want to give up.

But…if I set my goal at the smaller point, and kept reassessing it as I progressed, I would not only have a lot of wins along the way, I would also increase the chances that I would in fact reach that goal and more.

And that changes EVERYTHING.

Now, I notice how much stronger I feel and how I can really push it to go further or faster. Some days I’m slow and some days I’m fast – especially with the stroller 80 lbs now). But I know that I am always, steadily and slowly, creating small changes and they have led to big shifts.

What does this mean for you? It’s not really about “running” at all. It’s about the goals. 

Setting a monstrous goal does not always work, even if that is where you want to go. It is better to set a small goal, or make a small shift, and continue to make small shifts on top of those, if you want to stay active in reaching those bigger goals. It’s what we do for our students and clients, but we forget to do for ourselves. The simpler the goal, and sometimes more scaled back, the easier it will be to reach and then keep building from there. You can aim for the big goal (say, “r” at the conversational level or running another half marathon), but you don’t reach for that yet. You start with the first steps (“r” in isolation, or running 1-2 miles without stopping), and then work towards mastering those. 

Instead of focusing on the big goal of being able to run the way I used to or to run another Half Marathon, I focused on increasing where I was. I could work towards 2 miles with no breaks, then maybe 3 or 4 miles, eventually 6, and continuing from there. 

This way, I am making realistic goals (like the ones we set for our own students and clients) and creating big shifts from there, instead of looking at where I am and where I wish I was, and not feeling like it could ever be possible.

When you are looking at your own goals, especially towards stress management, incorporating mindfulness, and/or personal development, you might be expecting it to be “fixed” and no longer an issuerightnow. Or at least within the next week or month, and then not have to worry about it anymore. Or not have stress still be prevalent. But it takes small changes first, built up over time, to create those big shifts, and to help those big shifts not be an overhaul that fails after a few weeks, but become a gradual part of your lifestyle. 

You need to find your starting point. Then, you move forward from there. 

Take a moment right now to work through some of these questions/prompts and create your starting point:

• What is your main goal with your daily stress?
• Where are you with it right now?
• Is your main goal achievable and realistic for right now?
• If not, how can you break it down to the smaller, but very important, starting place? Example: You want to meditate to manage your stress for 30 minutes a day. You currently have tried meditation once for 3 minutes on an app. Jumping into that HUGE goal would be a lot right now, and, most likely, not feasible. How can you break it down? Start with meditating for 3-5 minutes 3-5 days a week. Once that is solid and not even something you think much about, build it up (if you even need to or still want to).
• What is your action step or plan to make it happen? From The example above: download a meditation app and figure out what time during the day will be consistent and easiest to start doing. 

You can go through these on your own in a journal or notebook, or you can download the guided “Small Changes to Create Big Shifts Workbook” available in the SLP Stress Management Shop.

For more resources, like FREE meditations and movement audios as well as exclusive discounts on courses, make sure to sign up for the FREE SLP Toolbox. A resource library full of tools to help you, as an SLP and human, reduce and manage your stress better. You can subscribe below.

What is your small shift? Leave it in the comments below to help share and solidify it!

Much Love, 

Jessi