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17Aug

5 Things that are Working for me as a School SLP

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Stress Management
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working for me as a school slp

The 2022-2023 school year was my first full school year as an SLP, even though I graduated in 2008. I worked in the schools before, either in teletherapy, where I felt a little disconnected with the school itself, or covering portions of school years. In both of those, I felt a lot of stress and didn’t really feel connected in the way I did this year. This year was not perfect – I learned a lot, made mistakes, and have some things I want to tweak and shift moving forward. I’ve spent some time reflecting on these things and on how I can take it into the year ahead. 

However, the focus doesn’t always have to be on what you can shift, change or do better with. It is amazing to reflect on what you learned and how you can grow from it. It is also pretty darn amazing to stop and notice your strengths, what you did well, and what totally flipping worked for you. 

And, in truth, there was a lot that I liked and wanted to keep doing. 

My reflections of this year are that a lot of things went well for me. I had a great place to work, one that welcomed helping people thrive and grow. I had students who were happy and wanted to come to speech, and thought of it as a fun place and a safe place. And I enjoyed being there each day. That’s not to say sometimes I wouldn’t have rather been chilling at home. But I wasn’t dreading it, searching for any way to be anywhere but there. It was a pretty big shift from my last two times working in the schools, both in person in a school and in teletherapy. 

When I look back, it was the things that worked for me, that helped me to want to be there and to feel less stress and overwhelm. 

5 Things that are Working for Me as a School SLP

Here are a few things that worked and that made a big difference for me, and that I want to keep doing:

Ditched tables and plopped down on the floor:

I had several tables and stations in my room. One was a “horseshoe” table, where I had a few (wobble) seats set up around it. Another was a square table that had 4 seats. I also had a rug in the middle of my room, and a few throw pillows and a shag circle rug, and THIS is where the majority of sessions were held. Not in the seats at the table, not even in the wobble seats (although we did pull those over to the rug from time to time). The students were allowed to sit or lay down while we played games and did our work – as long as it didn’t distract them from participating more than it helped. I had one or two groups who preferred sitting at a table, and I used the horseshoe one for evals. 

Used the materials they were using:

If I pushed into a teacher’s class, I would use the items they were already using or had on hand. Most of the time, that looked like using whatever materials were at the station the student was at. If there was a certain station that worked better for speech therapy, I would try to see the students when they were at that one. If it was different materials each day (preschool), I would dive in and play with them for the session. It wasn’t always perfect or my ideal material, but I didn’t have to worry about supplying any or lugging them around, and it was more in line with what they were actually doing in the class  – because that’s exactly what it was 😉

Word lists over flashcards:

I do love flashcards, I really do, but it was also fun to have the students help me come up with some target to work on and just have a wordlist that we wrote down together. It helped them feel more excited about using the words, and then we would use them as the main part of the activity or drill before their turn for the game of the day. And I didn’t have to hunt down a pack of flashcards in the exact sound I needed for that day 🙂

Community and connection:

I mentioned before that connection made such a difference. It was how I connected with coworkers, but also with my students. I made sure to connect with my students, and let them know it was about growing, not about being perfect or “fixing” them.  We had the “foundations” for our speech room listed on our wall, and would refer to them if needed. Everyone is different here, but the vibe was that they were a part of “team speech” if they came to my room, and I was part of their class if I went to their room. 

Mindfulness mixed in:

This is not what you might think. I absolutely did not do straight up yoga or meditation or breathing for the speech session. It was not taking a yoga class and twisting it to become a speech class. It was more infusing the classroom and the activities with mindfulness (which is exactly what Mindfulness in Your Speech Room is all about). I would use some of the tools (like some deep breathing) if needed, especially on days where I noticed that attention or focus was drifting. I had an area that students could go to if they were feeling overwhelmed and needed to pause before joining, or to grab a fidget or sensory item. And we referenced our class motto/foundation based around Growth Mindset. And I am excited to bring even more of this into my room in the upcoming year. 

It is really easy to look at what you need to do better or change, or even shift because you learned something. But it is also important to look at what worked for you and what went well, so you can continue to use it, not let ist get pushed aside, and to help recognize that, yes, you are the SLP and you did some really awesome things and worked with some awesome humans.

What went well for you this year? Share in the comments or DM me @jessiandricks on IG

Want to bring mindfulness to your class or speechroom for the upcoming year? Make sure to sign up for the waitlist and be the first to know when my new course on Mindfulness in your SLP Room opens, plus snag an exclusive discount on enrollment. Click here, enter your email, and confirm your sign up for all the details!

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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1Aug

#1 Thing that made the BIGGEST difference as a School SLP

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Stress Management
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biggest difference as a school SLP

This was NOT my first year working in the schools, but it was my first year where I really leaned into being an SLP, and truly enjoyed my work. Out of any setting and any work I’ve done in the field of being an SLP, this was the one where I felt like I had landed. There was work and stress and things that were hard, but it wasn’t dreadful or pushing me towards burnout. 

So what was the thing that made it different?

There were a lot of factors, and I know that I have done a lot of work and practices to get where I am with stress and work, but it was perhaps more. For me, it the thing that made the biggest difference, as a school SLP, was connection. 

Connection with the students and team made all the difference. I don’t know how it happened – luck perhaps, or maybe manifesting after years of not being where I wanted, finally not putting up with it anymore, and then finding the right place – but it happened. I landed in a work setting that I actually really enjoyed and , for the first time truly, I enjoyed working as an SLP. Part of this was absolutely the setting itself – a very positive, uplifting, welcoming place – but also that I showed up as I was, comfortable in my abilities and lack of skills, and was there to do what I could. I started with the summer to see if I liked it – a bit of a test. There was no pressure. If I didn’t like it, it was only for a few weeks and then I would know for sure I was not goin in this direction. But if I did like it, I could offer to stay on. And I loved it. And then I realized as the year went on, that I enjoyed it even more than I had over that summer. 

Part of what was so great was being allowed to say “ I have no idea how to do this” or “that did not work like I thought” and not expect miracles from me, huge sweeping changes in skills for those I worked with, or that I would know everything It was ok for me to say “I’m not sure” and then to find out how to do it. 

Being honest, and being able to be honest, was what made the difference and grew connections, between adults I worked with but also with the student I worked with on my caseload. If I could say, “Um, that didn’t really work like I thought” or “Let’s try something and see how it goes” then they knew they didn’t have to be perfect, do it all right away, and could take the pressure off as well. It wasn’t an excuse to sit back and do nothing, but rather an invitation to show up as they were that day and use it in a realistic way to work on their skills. 

The Thing that made the BIGGEST difference as a School SLP: Connection.

Here are a few ways that helped me grow this connection:

Being honest about not knowing

As I mentioned in a previous episode, there was a LOT I did not know going in, and I felt it was super important to own that, not fake that I knew it, and ask questions to clarify, because that was the only way I was going to learn and know what to do with it. It wasn’t always easy to fess up to, but it ALWAYS helped with stress in the long-run, and helped me feel more connected and honest with the people I was around. 

Offering to help and mean it

There is a lot that we do and we don’t always have time for things other than straight SLP work. But when I could, I’d offer to help, or to let them know they could ask me if needed. Sometimes, it was being a sounding board for an upcoming meeting, or helping out at field day (my favorite day), or shifting my schedule so I could be in a class when they had a sub instead of my usual time. If I could, I would offer and mean it, because I considered myself part of the team and not just the SLP stopping in. 

Showing up to learn and grow

If I showed up to be just as I was, it wouldn’t have left me any room to grow and learn, and it wouldn’t have left me room to communicate, share, explore, and build that connection with my students or co-workers. Instead of showing up as “I know it all”, I showed up with “what can I learn from this” – sometimes a new skill in therapy, sometimes learning what I did NOT want to do, and sometimes learning that something would or wouldn’t work for me. 

Not expecting perfection or super-structure from my students

I kept things loosey-goosey some might think. It was not unusual for my students to get up in the middle of the session to change their type of seat, to stand up and walk around, or to go grab a sensory item. If you stopped by my room, someone was bound to be moving. I know it is not for everyone, but if a student needed it, I was ok with them getting up to move around, as long as it helped them participate and not distract from them or others learning. And I had a class motto where we talked about how, in speech, we make mistakes, we try again, and we are not trying to be perfect, just to keep learning. Having that foundation for some growth mindset was part of my room and building connection and rapport together. 

Cheering them on no matter what – everyone puts in what they can, not 100% expected each time

Adults have plenty of days where we do not feel 100% – and it is hard for us to acknowledge it, but even harder, at times, for us to understand and accept it in our students. In my room, I had a meditation-ish/calm area that students were allowed to sit in if they were feeling overwhelmed or needed to just step back for a bit. I few used it, and would come join in when they were able. I also made sure to cheer everyone on for their effort – not the percentage they got correct – and to thank them for coming to my class and participating. The more you are connected, the more you get out of the sessions, for you and the students. There is trust and comfort and that is so needed for learning. 

In any upcoming year or work, I will take with me some of these lessons and experiences to help me find connection, and know that, for me at least, it is such a driving force to keep stress from building, to feel connected to the work, and feel part of it. It is not always easy, but it is so worth it. 

When was a moment that you felt really connected to your work or a student/client/co-worker? Share in the comments or on IG @jessiandricks.

Want more resources to help you as you move into a new year (or if you are still in it)? Subscribe below for FREE resources in the SLP Toolbox, including meditations audio, movement videos, and self-care tips and templates. 

And, if you want to gain a skill in bringing mindfulness to your class or speech room for the upcoming year, make sure to sign up for the waitlist and be the first to know when my new course on Mindfulness in your SLP Room opens, plus snag an exclusive discount on enrollment. Click here, enter your email, and confirm your sign up for all the details!

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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26Jul

What I learned from my first full year as a school-based SLP

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Stress Management
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first full year as a school slp

Well, as of this writing, I am officially done with my first full year as a school SLP. I’ve been at this, off and on, for over a decade, but somehow, this is the first year that I consider a real, true year in the schools. Yes, I have worked in the schools, but for two half years (one end and one start). Yes, I worked a full school year or two in teletherapy, but it wasn’t quite the same as going into the building and knowing my groups and doing the traditional set up of school-based theory (in some ways it was easier and in some ways it was so much harder). And yes, I worked part-time this year, but it was 3 days, sometimes 4 or 5, and I never felt like a “contractor” or “part-timer”, I just felt like part of the school.

And with this being my first full year, the one where I really felt I was connected and “in” it – sometimes a pile of paperwork, a shit-storm of evals, or just loving every moment – there are so any thoughts and tidbits and things I want to share with you. Things that worked, things I learned, things that I will try differently, things I want to do more of, things I want to keep doing, what I loved, what I could do without, and why I enjoyed it so, so much this time around. 

So in the next few posts and episodes, this is exactly what I’ll be doing, sharing all about my first full year as a school SLP, specifically my experience as someone who really and truly loathed being a school based SLP a decade ago and absolutely love it now (I cried on the last day of school… a lot). No secret tricks or magic “just do this”, because that is all bullshit, but instead my experiences, my thoughts, and what I would like to share with you if we sat down together for coffee (or tea, because caffeine has been kicking my butt lately!). Nothing for you to do or change, but maybe just something to help you feel not alone, to give you some hope, or to inspire you for the next school year.

There were so many things that I did that I wouldn’t necessarily call mistakes, but I would try to do them differently the next time around. As I sit here writing this, I have COVID, for the second time this half of the school year, and my plans to go in and finish filing and paperwork on the teacher workday are awash and I will be going in next week, if the buildings open. It will make it a true full YEAR, since I started working last summer doing comp services, and will be finishing up the year in the same week, a year later. 

Paperwork, not knowing where the records room was until the last three days of school (eek!), scheduling and not checking the cancels, waiting until progress report week to start progress reports – there are a lot of things that I would do differently. They aren’t mistakes – just part of seeing how it worked and making some notes to shift it the next year. 

I found myself sitting one day, ready for a meeting, waiting on the LEA to sign in. I waited, chatted with the teacher, chatted with the parents (thankfully we were virtual), and then realized the LEA had marked they weren’t able to attend and I had overlooked the email that was sent out. Ouch. It was a little embarrassing and not a great first (second?) impression to be making with the parents. So what could I do? I had to just fess up, apologize for them stepping away from their day to sign in, and make a plan with them for when we would meet the following week. I sucked it up (my embarrassment), made a plan, and confirmed with all the team members that we would be able to meet on the next date scheduled. It was not perfect, was utterly un-smooth of me, and, for a moment, made me feel like an idiot. 

But then I realized, we all make small mistakes, we are human, and we don’t have to be perfect. Nothing happened. No big bad fairy came down and deemed me unworthy of being an SLP. No one scolded me for messing it all up. Honestly, it  wasn’t just no big deal, it was not even a blip. Rescheduled, got it done, thanked everyone, and moved on. 

There were a TON of little things like this that probably happened throughout the year – not knowing to file something, forgetting to send something home, not knowing that I needed to hold an ENTIRE PART OF A MEETING and then needing to go back and do it all again. It happens. 

It helped that the district SLP’s motto for us all was “Don’t look back and try to fix it. Once you learn something, use it going forward”. No need to dwell on the past, just do it from now on. 

What I learned as in my first full year as a School-Based SLP

Here are a few times I majorly goofed, but really it was just a learning lesson:

Forgot to hold an entire part of a meeting and had to go back and hold it again

In my first Speech-only IEP meeting, I unknowingly skipped an entire part. I had to do a three year re-eval. I gathered all the previous info and present levels. I held the re-eval part of the meeting where we determined we would continue with therapy. I held the annual IEP meeting and updated it. And then it wouldn’t clear from my system or show it was completed. So I looked through a few things and realized I forgot the important part – where we do the actual checkboxes and submit that, yes, they are still eligible. Facepalm for sure. So I called my supervisor, a bit embarrassed, and she reassured me, letting me know that even people who have been working for years make mistakes and goof up. She said to just own it, hold that part, and move forward. So I did and I didn’t miss that part again for the rest of the year. 

Didn’t realize not all team members had confirmed until we were in the meeting with the parents and had to reschedule. 

Oof. Later in the year, I thought everyone had confirmed, or at least not declined, an IEP meeting. 5 minutes into, still waiting for the last member, I realized they had declined and I missed the email. So once I found myself mucking up an IEP meeting. I apologized, we rescheduled, and I made sure everyone confirmed and was onboard the next time we held the meeting and all was well. 

Had no idea about folders until the end of the year.

You can’t know what you don’t even know you should know – or something like that 😉 I didn’t realize until well into the 4th quarter that we were supposed to file everything in two separate places. So, I had two choices – being super embarrassed and awkward about it, and feel bad for myself, OR, own it, laugh about it (while being awkward for sure), and get it done. Next year, I know I won’t have to wait until the end to file AND I’ll know exactly where to go each time. 

Probably another thousand things that I will continue to learn about as the years go on, no matter what job or where I am. For one, things are constantly updating and changing, so everyone is learning. But also, it’s a lot to learn. If you expect yourself to be perfect, or your leaders expect it, then you will never live up to it and always feel you are not enough. 

Why even bother sharing these muck-ups? Because I know I am not the only one, and I know that in the past I would have criticized, internalized, and felt like a complete ass about them. And you might be feeling that way, too. Graduate school and clinicals like to push this you – be perfect, no mistakes, be the best and by best we mean idealistic. You don’t have to be that way, and you will still be a damn good SLP.

Instead of looking at these as mistakes and places I failed, I look at them as things I learned and grew through. They are all the things I learned in my first full year as a school based SLP. They are new skills, new tools, and new insights that I can use and don’t have to struggle with going forward. 

What is a place you faltered in and learned from this year? I’d love to hear! Share in the comments or send me a message on IG @jessiandricks

Want more resources to help you as you move into a new year (or if you are still in it)? Subscribe below for FREE resources in the SLP Toolbox, including meditations audio, movement videos, and self-care tips and templates. 

And, if you want to gain a skill in bringing mindfulness to your class or speechroom for the upcoming year, make sure to sign up for the waitlist and be the first to know when my new course on Mindfulness in your SLP Room opens, plus snag an exclusive discount on enrollment. Click here, enter your email, and confirm your sign up for all the details!

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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31Mar

4 Effective Ways to Decompress from Work

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Career Advice Podcast Stress Management
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decompress from work

Do you ever find yourself just wanting to sit in the quiet with the lights off for a few moments after work? 

If you do, you are absolutely not alone. 

I saw a recent social media post about this from Type.b.slp on IG, and immediately related to it, as did a lot of other SLPs. In fact, I typically keep the lights off in my SLP room when I am writing notes, eating lunch, or just wanting some “quiet” (I have big windows with lots of natural light).

And one of my favorite routines, which I have not been able to do much of lately, is to stop at home before I pick up my kiddo and sit to listen to a mediation audio. It helps me to find quiet, decompress, and shift out of work mode. And I often pair it with a warm cup of tea when I want to feel extra.

These moments of decompression make sense – as an SLP, especially with young students and children, you have to be ON all day long. You are talking, engaging, and bringing the enthusiasm for hours a day, even if it is with breaks in between. And then there are co-workers, families, and meetings, where you get to engage even more. For me – it is the virtual meeting that I find exhausting and “ON”, and I used to work in teletherapy exclusively!

It is no wonder that many of us crave a few moments of silence in the comfort of our own homes at the end of the day. 

This time to decompress brings in much needed balance, which can help you to feel less overstimulated and overwhelmed. When those things happen, your brain has more difficulty processing and it can make it harder to think, to get anything done, or to feel steady – it is more overwhelming and stressful. 

Decompressing can help you to find balance, reduce stress, and be more present in your evenings. 

By definition, decompression means to “let the pressure out” or to “relax and find calm”. And I envision it as just this – a tightly wound up person (SLP) that has been piled on throughout the day, with more weight added to them, and more and more packed into their bubble, until they are about to burst or collapse. Then finally, at the end of the day, the pressure is released (sometimes through a cry or a scream or a letting go of all the steam like a pressure cooker), and they finally decompress and feel right again. 

So what are some ways to decompress?

If decompression means to let go of pressure, find calm, and relax, then any activity that counteracts the pressure of the day, let you relax, and find calm would be considered a way to decompress. It could definitely vary from person to person, but there are a few that could help most or that give you a few places to choose how you take it. 

4 Effective Ways to Decompress from Work

Try these simple and quiet ways to decompress after your SLP workday:

Find quiet

If you are feeling overstimulated and it is hard to think, process, or be around anyone, then finding quiet will help. Chances are, you are dysregulated from being around so much talking and being “on” all day, and you need a little space and quiet to counteract it. 

Try something calm and quiet – a 5 minute meditation, sip a cup of tea and stare out the window (or go outside!), read a book (fiction, preferably, so you don’t feel more overloaded). 

Move your body on purpose

You may have been on the move during the day – up and down hallways – but it is not the same as moving on purpose. If you are feeling that you are in your head, and thoughts are constant, then movement can be helpful. It gets you out of your head and back into your body and the present moment, so you can be present at home and enjoy it more. 

Try some mindful movement – go outside for a walk, try some yoga, swim, go lift some weights, or head to a class – anything that helps you feel better after, rather than more stimulated or tired. 

Brain dump or write about it

If you are feeling that you are really stuck on a thought, it can be helpful to let it out by writing about it. When you write about the thoughts you are ruminating on, it gives them a place to live other than your head, and this helps you to remove the pressure of the thoughts, find some calm outside of them, and can give you something to look back on later if needed – although many times, just getting it out helps you move through it and onward. 

Hobby – let off steam, find balance

It can also be helpful to do something fun, that you enjoy and that gets you in the zone and out of stress for a moment. If you have a hobby that you find soothing, like it resets you, give it a try. It could be writing or moving or reading, but it could also be something like drawing, baking, knitting, building things, etc. If you find it calming and it lets the pressure go, then it could be helpful – but if it stimulates you more and doesn’t bring in balance, try a different thing. 

Needing time to decompress after work is not a bad thing and doesn’t mean you are “wrong” or that your job is awful. Sometimes, it just means you had a lot going on that day, and you need to bring yourself back into balance, using your environment to do so. Take a moment (5 minutes might be all you need!) to let the pressure go, and find some calm and relaxation.

Which one of these are you going to try? Share in the comments below!

Want more resources to help you  let the pressure off and find some calm? Subscribe below by entering your email address for instant access to the FREE resource library, The Resilient SLP Toolbox, featuring yoga classes, meditation audios and more (check your email to confirm!). 

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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14Mar

Are you checking out on your SLP stress?

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Stress Management
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checking out

There is a big truth about most adults and most SLP programs – they are not taught stress management.

I have spent more time than I would like to admit scrolling, mindlessly, through social media, wasting hours of my evening, or watching shows without really watching them, just so I wouldn’t have to do anything else. Because I was stressed and that’s what I thought might help. 

As an adult, and as an SLP, you get to make decisions, help others to thrive, and have a handy-dandy Masters Degree. It seems like you should be able to do something as simple as figure out how to not feel so stressed all the time, and that is why it is so infuriating and so stressful.

Because it is really hard, and the skills may not be there. And it is not our default- most of us are not taught what to do about stress. 

Honestly, most of us are taught “It gets better when you graduate and are in the field doing it your own way”, only to find out that the stress just shifts, if not increases.

Without a lot of tools or knowledge about what to do about stress, besides “suck it up buttercup”, it can be easy to lean into the first, simplest thing  – checking out each night after work. 

Stress usually comes with a side of mental exhaustion. If not at first, then as it builds overtime. This mental exhaustion can make it feel like there is nothing better than to sit on the couch, saddle up with your favorite wine or Diet Dr Pepper, grab a bag of snacks, and binge watch your way through your favorite Netflix show. Sometimes, late at night after you get the kids to bed and straighten the house and REALLY dive into the exhaustion. 

It seems like a good fix – check out for a bit, not think about stress, and then feel less stressed.

But does it work?

Once in a while, if you do this, you might be thinking “yes! I feel so much better after an occasional couch night”. But if this is routine, you might be noting that the stress is still there and possibly growing. 

This is what can happen when you check-out vs check-in. So how can you tell which you are doing?

Checking Out = Avoidance

When you’re checking out, you are doing things that help you to completely avoid the stress you are feeling and facing. It is an avoidant habit and it is usually used because you are so mentally exhausted and drained, that the idea of doing one more thing is too much. It allows you to check out for a little bit – maybe bingeing a show or mindlessly scrolling social media – so that you are not engaging or thinking about the stress.

Once in a while, this is so needed and can help. It gives you that bit of reprieve, even for a few moments. It becomes an issue, and can add to stress, when it becomes your usual go-to. 

Checking out does not do anything to help the stress go away or manage it, it simply ignores it. This means that while you’re ignoring it, it continues to grow and build, so it can often be bigger and more stressful once you have to face it. 

Checking In = Awareness

When you’re checking in, you are consciously doing an activity that helps you to reflect, check in on yourself, and meet your needs in that moment, even when it is really difficult to do and acknowledge. It is an activity that brings awareness to the stress you are feeling, and then does something to help you move through it or shift out of it. This could be a journaling activity, shaking or moving your body, or finding some quiet or meditation to help decompress.

It is not always easy to do, but it is what helps you to reduce the stress response in your brain and rewire it to not get fired up as much when new stressors arrive. It also helps your brain to shift out of being focused on all the potential stressors that you might find. 

Checking in faces the stress, because it is already there, and brings some awareness to it. From there, you are able to see what you need in that moment to work through it a little better. It is not about finding a solution, but about shifting your brain and body out of stress mode.

I promise, I am not saying throw away your TV and delete all social media. Heck no, I love both of those things and spend way more time on them than I should. But, when you notice they are your go-to, just take note. You are probably overwhelmed by something or there is some stress building, and bring some awareness to it. That’s always the first step. And then maybe continue scrolling for tonight, but then tomorrow take some time to do something for yourself that helps work through the stress a little – even 5 minutes can make a difference,

Then jump into your favorite spot on the couch, hit play, and enjoy your shows – connected and not checked out. 

What do you end up doing – checking in or checking out? Share in the comments below!

Want more resources to help you take 5 minutes to check in? Sign up below by entering your email address and get access to the FREE resource library – The Resilient SLP Toolbox – where you’ll find all kinds of tools to help you start reducing and managing your stress today. 

With Love and Light, 

Jessi  

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27Feb

The Best Type of Self-Care for Stress

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Self Care Stress Management Uncategorized
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type of self-care

I was at my doctors office last year for a wellness check and they were going through a list of questions to update my profile. “Do you smoke?” “How often do you consume alcohol?” “Do you have any mental health concerns?”. I let them know that I didn’t have a concern per se, but I had reached out to schedule a therapy appointment because I was feeling some anxiety creep in due to a lot of life circumstances, and stress and grief building. She mentioned some resources and centers in the area that worked with mindfulness and we started talking about the importance of self-care, especially with overwhelm and stress. She mentioned that she had once been given some meditations to try for herself and for her child, and then we started talking about things like pedicures. And she said something like “That’s why pedicures and manicures are so great for self-care. They give you that little moment of time to pause and reset, with no other obligations or worries, even if it is a brief amount of time. It just feels nice and sometimes that is what you need – to feel nice and taken care of. So go get one, and don’t bring your kid – go alone.”.

It got me thinking of the different levels of self-care and things that people like to do when they are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. And wondering what the best type of self-care really is. I tend to poo-poo the ones that are more pampering – like bubble baths, manicures, and pedicures (honestly, I just don’t get the hype), and I go for the really involved ones, like meditation, movement, or deep internal check-ins. The heavy, tough stuff.

But recently, I have also started to see things like, reading a book, grabbing a cup of coffee, sitting in the sunshine, and socializing with my friends as forms of self-care. I’m not doing an internal check-in necessarily, but I am bringing balance into my day – quiet to balance chaos, outside to balance inside, coffee to pause when I’m on the go, a treat vs a sacrifice, or connecting after being home all day for a few years with two kids. And even other things like setting boundaries or saying “I’m not able to do that right now”, which is hard.

So, what is the best type of self-care then?

Self-care can seem really simple – do things you like and feel better after – but it is really more complicated than that.

Self-care can be things that you enjoy doing and that feel fun, freeing, and blissful. It can also be doing things that feel a little challenging, tough, or push your boundaries (such as creating those boundaries themselves). Neither one is right or wrong, and, in fact, it is helpful to have both styles of self-care in your life for a more well-rounded approach.

What are the two types of Self-Care?

The type of self-care that often feels good and is sometimes deemed as “frivolous” is referred to as superficial self-care. The name can be a bit misleading and lead to more of that “frivolous” labeling of it, when really it is a much needed reprieve from the stress you are facing. When you do something that is fun for you or feels nice – like finding quiet in a bubble bath or getting pampered with a pedicure – it gives you a moment to pause and not be in the stress. You get a break, which doesn’t necessarily so a major overhaul on your stress response, but it does give you a small break from the stress and give you something to feel good about and be grateful about. It helps you find some joy and some positive emotions and things in your life – and this can be really important for starting to turn down the stress response and shift you out of a negative stress cycle.

It isn’t superficial as in not good enough, but more superficial as in not going very deep. It is not going to create big fixes, but it can give you a small change and start to create bigger shifts, and bring in some joy.

The other types of self-care is the deep self-care. These are the things that do overhaul your stress response and are not necessarily comfortable or easy to do. Deep self-care cuts into the bigger, checking-in type of practices to help you see what is really going on, what is working or not, and what shifts you can make. It is definitely finding quiet after a really busy day, but also things like meditating or deep breathing to reset your nervous system and rewire the brains’ response to stress, moving your body to remove and reduce tension that builds up and holds onto stress, and writing it out to help you sort through and get it out of your head. It could also be setting up some boundaries and routines to help support you – even though those can come with growing pains of their own.

One is not better than the other, and both are useful, and needed, for managing stress through self-care.

Here are a few ways to look at superficial vs deep self-care:

Superficial: Ask yourself, “does it feel good?”
Things like: pedicures, manicures, reading a book (can be both), socializing, massage, podcast, bubble bath, quiet


Deep: Ask yourself, “what do I need right now?”
Things like: quiet (can be both), meditation, reflection, stretching, movement, boundaries, journal, check-in

If you have all superficial self-care, you might find that things are enjoyable, but not necessarily getting deep down to create shifts in your body, mind, and mindset. They might be more like shaking off the stress of the day and moving on.

If you have all deep self-care, you might feel so incredibly weighed down and burdened by all you are facing. This type can bring up a lot of emotions and put you in the middle of the stress (in order to move through it) and not feel light or fun.

Having a balance of sorts with both of these can be key. If you tend to stay superficial with the self-care, add in some deeper ones to help rewire your brain and body when stress shows up. If you are feeling really weighed down by self-care, add in something light and fun, so you feel that joy in your life and feel supported.

Which do you tend to lean towards? Share in the comments below or send me a DM on IG @jessiandricks

Want some resources to help you, no matter which self-care you decide to choose? Enter your email below to gain immediate access to “The Resilient SLP Toolbox”, a free resource library full of tools to help you manage stress, reduce the risk of burnout, and find more balance in your life in and out of being an SLP.

With love and light,
Jessi

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30Jan

Having Control vs Controlling Your SLP Stress

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Perfectionism Podcast Stress Management
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control vs controlling

One time, in my work as a school-based SLP, I had a student I needed to screen. The team expected the screen to go smoothly, for this student to “pass” it with no issues, and for it to just be a general component to add to their overall evaluation process. So, they didn’t allow much time before the screen and results were due – not to be rude or inconsiderate, but because it seemed straight forward.  

But it turned out not to be. The student did not pass the screen and an evaluation was needed ASAP. And I could feel the dial of stress start to turn up a notch or five.

This could easily have gone one of two ways. 

It could have been an ongoing, growing source of stress, because it was not part of my plan and I had no room for this in my planned out schedule. If I held to my schedule strictly, all I would be able to see that I was in control, things would go the way the schedule said, and that I would not have room to do it. But, it would still have to get done, just with so much stress and pressure and guilt and surrounding it.

I could also try to loosen the reins a bit and remind myself that things do not have to stick to the schedule exactly – that a shift here or there will happen, and learn from it and do it differently next time (make sure there is always time in case both pieces are needed). 

The big difference here is not a laid back attitude, relaxed schedule, great place to work, or just rolling with it. It’s the way the control of the situation works.

One way is to control the situation in order to avoid stress, which leads to more work, more pressure, and more stress. In the other, it is about regaining control in order to not feel helpless, and to work through the stress and come out the other side with some new insights and tools. 

I see this so much with other SLPs, because I have seen it in myself. You try so hard to map it all out exactly (like your school based schedule) and then, when a small shift happens that is not in the plan, it adds more stress to the situation. So you go in and tweak it even more, perfect it just a bit further until it is “just right”, and then another thing happens and the stress grows and things get even harder, and you try to make the plan work even more. 

It is exhausting. 

When stress builds up, there is often one big player that shows up – control. Having control of a situation can make it so that you feel you are best prepared to face whatever shows up, that you are the one leading the situation, and that the outcome of it is up to you. This can leave you feeling way more settled, full of power, and, well, in control. It can also be the start of additional stress, and a spiral into what you are trying to avoid, because things rarely go *exactly* as planned. 

Having control can be great, and can help reduce stress, but controlling can be something that allows stress to build. They are very similar, but do complete opposite things when it comes to managing your stress. 

When you are controlling, you are forcing the outcome or a situation and expecting that it must go a certain way or it won’t be ok. This might look like planning out each speech therapy session precisely, leaving no wiggle room in your schedule (everything is down to the minute) and expecting that your day and life will go the way you say it will. It sounds good. It sounds like it would make things much less stressful. But it doesn’t. Instead, this often adds more pressure to keep everything going the way it is mapped out, and builds the stress you are so very much trying to control and keep from building. 

Controlling leaves no room for being human, for things to change, or for the perspective and plans of another person. 

Your students might not want to do the activity you have mapped out. They might need to stop to use the restroom or have some questions to ask you, which could take out some of the time from that detailed and rigid schedule that you mapped out. And, you might have someone stop by to talk to you about a student or you don’t feel like doing the lesson you have planned, or students are not available that day. 

Things happen, and the way you look at control can make all the difference. 

Here are questions to ask yourself to determine if you are in control or controlling your (SLP) stress:

  1. Is there room for the unexpected?

One quick way to check is to see if there is room for the unexpected. Unexpected things could be a schedule change, a student who needs to be evaluated ASAP, a colleague needing to talk to you in the middle of the session, a student needing to use the restroom, OT/PT swapping days, etc. These are all parts of life in a workplace, especially a school, and are all part of being human. You can only plan and control so much, before you are micromanaging and not allowing for others perspectives, incorporating needs of others at times, and leaving room for being human and ever-changing. 
Having a little wiggle room, or knowing things do not have to be perfect each time, can leave room for the unexpected, which is absolutely expected. 

  1. Are you avoiding stress by having control? 

There is no way to avoid stress or completely control it. There is no magic, crystal ball to tell you how everything will be laid out and what to expect from all of it. 

Controlling stress is often done to try to avoid experiencing it. If you can control the situation and get it exactly how you want and expect it to be, then you can avoid the stressful parts of it from happening. It sounds so good when you first think about it. But avoiding stress is not possible and leads to more controlling and more stress, and it never give you to the tools to manage it and reduce it

When you look at your stress and your day, are you doing things to avoid it from happening or to have a little say and understanding in how your day unfolds?

  1. Is the control adding to your stress? 

If you are trying to work on stress, the worst thing is when you are feeling it grow more and more, despite doing more and more to make it stop. This is usually a huge red flag that you are controlling vs having some control. Having some control (say, knowing who your students are that day and what activity will be going on in the class at that time) lessens the stress by giving you a little foundation and ground to stand on vs controlling (only seeing these students form a specific time, no matter if they have other needs, and planning an activity that they will do, because it has to be done to meet the goals they way you want them to get done today) which keeps you in the stress loop in your body and brain and keeps you in a pass/fail mindset. 

If the control is adding to your stress, it is time to try something new. Look at what you absolutely need to do (it is way less than you probably think) and give yourself 1-2 things to get done that day, and plan a session with a little more wiggle room. Maybe choose 1 game for the week to use in all your sessions. Have the students help you decide on some activities. And know that it doesn’t have to be perfect or exact to help them reach their goals and to give you data to report as needed. 

I know it is all easier said than done. But just having some awareness of it, and realizing that the control might be more controlling than helpful can be the first step towards unwinding some of the stress and really learning how to manage it. 

Give this a try:

  1. Take 10 minutes to work through these questions. Grab a journal and write them down, and explore the answers you come up with. Allow yourself to be honest – there is no grade or right/wrong, or better than. It is where you are and what you can do next.
  2. When you’re ready, write down 3 swaps you can make to shift from controlling to having control. 
  3. Add in 1 stress management tool to use that day – and make it flexible if needed. 

Want some tools to help you manage your stress? Check out the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox. You can subscribe to this FREE resource and get access to yoga classes, meditation audios, and more. 

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Do you feel you are stressed from controlling your day, or less stress from having a little control? Share in the comments,

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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16Jan

How to Set an Intention that Lasts for Years to Come

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Perfectionism Podcast Stress Management
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set an intention

I was brushing my teeth the other morning when my husband came in and said “Did you set any intentions for this year?”. I laughed and reminded him that, yes, I set so many and we had talked about them, remember? He looked at me and said, “I thought those were all jokes?”. And he was right, they kind of were – finally finish rewatching The OC, bake/eat more cookies, continue to be awesome (j/k), eat more guacamole. 

I thought about it for a minute and asked him “What are your intentions?” and he shared his and I thought about what I really wanted to set as an intention – to get back to walking/hiking more, visit our trails and parks more, have a regular fitness routine. And to wake up and get out of the house on time. 

This was the big one that got me thinking. Logistically, to get out of the house by a certain time, we would need to wake up earlier than we had been last year, which meant get to bed earlier than we had been, which meant a more streamlined evening and nighttime routine. Easier said than done with kids. 

The first week, we maybe got out at the ideal time 3 out of 5 days. 

So, we could look at it two ways:

  1. We didn’t do it. In our first week, we failed at getting out of the house on time watch day. And maybe, it was too hard and we should just forget about it, or push ourselves to do better because we are not good enough yet. It’s pass/fail and we failed. 
  2. We didn’t do it every day, BUT we got three out of 5! That’s an improvement and it is making steps towards this becoming more routine and more easily done. On those days that things did not align ro get out in time, what was going on? Did we not sleep well, were the kids up at night, or did something else happen? What could make it easier – maybe pack lunches or plan clothes the night before, know where our bags are, etc. it’s all about the small wins. 

It’s still the same situation and scenario. Neither way of looking at it changes what happened, but it does change how we continue to move forward with it and what can happen in the future. 

The first viewpoint focuses on what went wrong and how it will not work. It gives no timeframe, no room to improve, and expects it to be right immediately. The second focuses on the truth – it didn’t happen every day – and also on what went well and worked, and ways to shift what didn’t. It gives more time, expects less to start, and focuses on continuing to learn, grow, and move forward. 

It takes it from being a thing to check off on a Resolution “To-Do List” and turns it into a skill to learn and use. 

While this is my intention for the year, it can also transfer into how you go about your stress management and mindset as an SLP this year, especially as you set intentions for the year ahead. 

New Year’s goals aren’t meant to make you perfect, but they can definitely drive perfectionism, which most likely is something you are already grappling with as an SLP. 

One way to shift out of this is to look at your intention for the year (or just for a fresh start at any time) is to look at the goal as a progression, not as perfection. Much like the goals you set for your students. Goals aren’t meant to be mastered immediately. They are meant to be worked up to, little by little, while learning the skills needed to master those goals as you go.

Imagine if you set a goal for your student and expected them to achieve it right away. They (and you) would feel defeated and likely give up after not being able to perfect the enormous amount of skill that reaching that goal right away entailed. You would both probably give up, feel stressed, and feel like you had “failed”. All because you expected it to be perfect right away. 

The same goes for the intention you have for yourself. If you want to work on reducing and managing your stress, then it is ok if you are still feeling stress for days, weeks, or months, or even years, after you begin working on it. It is not about getting it perfect, or reducing it entirely, but about learning new things and growing along the way. 

With perfectionism, the idea is that there aren’t challenges. If things are challenging, and you have to try to learn them and figure it out, then it must be wrong and not for you. But in order to grow and continue to learn, challenge is to only an OK thing, but a welcomed thing. While it seems nice for everything to be simple, easy and challenge-free, if it was that way, life would be stagnant.

Whether your intention is to recycle more, meditate regularly, move your body each day, have a morning routine, hold amazing SLP sessions, or feel less stressed in your work overall, aim for growth rather than perfection. 

Look at the two viewpoints I could take from my intention I mentioned before. 

The first viewpoint focuses on what went wrong and how it will not work. It gives no timeframe, no room to improve, and expects it to be right immediately. The second focuses on the truth – it didn’t happen every day – and also on what went well and worked, and ways to shift what didn’t. It gives more time, expects less to start, and focuses on continuing to learn, grow, and move forward. 

It takes it from being a thing to check off on a Resolution “To-Do List” and turns it into a skill to learn and use. 

When you are setting a goal or intention for yourself, or if you already have, here are a few things to try.

How to Set an Intention that Lasts All Year

  1. What is my expectation? Check in and see if this is something you are planning to have perfect right away or are going to keep working with over time. 
  2. What is my reason for this? Look at what you are setting and connect with it – what is the reason behind it. If you want to get up early, is it because you “should” and you “fail” at mornings, or because you want to ease into your day instead of rush. 
  3. What are some small steps you can take? Instead of an overhaul, look at one tiny thing you can do each week to build into the bigger picture you envision. 
  4. Where is this working? When you restart and as you go, check in and notice the places you are putting into practice, or where your strengths for this are. Then play off of those to help out the places you’re struggling. 

Here is something to remember and to remind yourself of: A little makes a difference.

Even if you are not seeing huge leaps towards your students goals, or you yourself are not making giant steps towards your intentions, that little bit makes all the difference. It is a small step forward, keeping the momentum building and the growth happening. It is not perfect and that means it is not stagnant. It is likely messy and that is learning. 

In fact, small shifts and changes, even little tiny baby steps, are more effective than giant, sweeping changes, because they build gradually over time and are easier to stick with once they are learned. 

So, rather than overhaul your life immediately with your intentions this year, and expect immediate changes with a pass/fail indicator, go for a big intention with small steps to reach it all year and into the years to come. 

When you take this perspective, it can help to give you more freedom and space, to feel less stuck and stressed, and to help with preventing added stress and burnout. 

What small wins did you have with your intentions this year? Share below!

Want some resources to help you keep taking those small steps towards less stress? Make sure to sign up for the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox, including yoga classes, meditations and more. 

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With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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