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27Feb

The Best Type of Self-Care for Stress

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Self Care Stress Management Uncategorized
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type of self-care

I was at my doctors office last year for a wellness check and they were going through a list of questions to update my profile. “Do you smoke?” “How often do you consume alcohol?” “Do you have any mental health concerns?”. I let them know that I didn’t have a concern per se, but I had reached out to schedule a therapy appointment because I was feeling some anxiety creep in due to a lot of life circumstances, and stress and grief building. She mentioned some resources and centers in the area that worked with mindfulness and we started talking about the importance of self-care, especially with overwhelm and stress. She mentioned that she had once been given some meditations to try for herself and for her child, and then we started talking about things like pedicures. And she said something like “That’s why pedicures and manicures are so great for self-care. They give you that little moment of time to pause and reset, with no other obligations or worries, even if it is a brief amount of time. It just feels nice and sometimes that is what you need – to feel nice and taken care of. So go get one, and don’t bring your kid – go alone.”.

It got me thinking of the different levels of self-care and things that people like to do when they are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. And wondering what the best type of self-care really is. I tend to poo-poo the ones that are more pampering – like bubble baths, manicures, and pedicures (honestly, I just don’t get the hype), and I go for the really involved ones, like meditation, movement, or deep internal check-ins. The heavy, tough stuff.

But recently, I have also started to see things like, reading a book, grabbing a cup of coffee, sitting in the sunshine, and socializing with my friends as forms of self-care. I’m not doing an internal check-in necessarily, but I am bringing balance into my day – quiet to balance chaos, outside to balance inside, coffee to pause when I’m on the go, a treat vs a sacrifice, or connecting after being home all day for a few years with two kids. And even other things like setting boundaries or saying “I’m not able to do that right now”, which is hard.

So, what is the best type of self-care then?

Self-care can seem really simple – do things you like and feel better after – but it is really more complicated than that.

Self-care can be things that you enjoy doing and that feel fun, freeing, and blissful. It can also be doing things that feel a little challenging, tough, or push your boundaries (such as creating those boundaries themselves). Neither one is right or wrong, and, in fact, it is helpful to have both styles of self-care in your life for a more well-rounded approach.

What are the two types of Self-Care?

The type of self-care that often feels good and is sometimes deemed as “frivolous” is referred to as superficial self-care. The name can be a bit misleading and lead to more of that “frivolous” labeling of it, when really it is a much needed reprieve from the stress you are facing. When you do something that is fun for you or feels nice – like finding quiet in a bubble bath or getting pampered with a pedicure – it gives you a moment to pause and not be in the stress. You get a break, which doesn’t necessarily so a major overhaul on your stress response, but it does give you a small break from the stress and give you something to feel good about and be grateful about. It helps you find some joy and some positive emotions and things in your life – and this can be really important for starting to turn down the stress response and shift you out of a negative stress cycle.

It isn’t superficial as in not good enough, but more superficial as in not going very deep. It is not going to create big fixes, but it can give you a small change and start to create bigger shifts, and bring in some joy.

The other types of self-care is the deep self-care. These are the things that do overhaul your stress response and are not necessarily comfortable or easy to do. Deep self-care cuts into the bigger, checking-in type of practices to help you see what is really going on, what is working or not, and what shifts you can make. It is definitely finding quiet after a really busy day, but also things like meditating or deep breathing to reset your nervous system and rewire the brains’ response to stress, moving your body to remove and reduce tension that builds up and holds onto stress, and writing it out to help you sort through and get it out of your head. It could also be setting up some boundaries and routines to help support you – even though those can come with growing pains of their own.

One is not better than the other, and both are useful, and needed, for managing stress through self-care.

Here are a few ways to look at superficial vs deep self-care:

Superficial: Ask yourself, “does it feel good?”
Things like: pedicures, manicures, reading a book (can be both), socializing, massage, podcast, bubble bath, quiet


Deep: Ask yourself, “what do I need right now?”
Things like: quiet (can be both), meditation, reflection, stretching, movement, boundaries, journal, check-in

If you have all superficial self-care, you might find that things are enjoyable, but not necessarily getting deep down to create shifts in your body, mind, and mindset. They might be more like shaking off the stress of the day and moving on.

If you have all deep self-care, you might feel so incredibly weighed down and burdened by all you are facing. This type can bring up a lot of emotions and put you in the middle of the stress (in order to move through it) and not feel light or fun.

Having a balance of sorts with both of these can be key. If you tend to stay superficial with the self-care, add in some deeper ones to help rewire your brain and body when stress shows up. If you are feeling really weighed down by self-care, add in something light and fun, so you feel that joy in your life and feel supported.

Which do you tend to lean towards? Share in the comments below or send me a DM on IG @jessiandricks

Want some resources to help you, no matter which self-care you decide to choose? Enter your email below to gain immediate access to “The Resilient SLP Toolbox”, a free resource library full of tools to help you manage stress, reduce the risk of burnout, and find more balance in your life in and out of being an SLP.

With love and light,
Jessi

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30Jan

Having Control vs Controlling Your SLP Stress

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Perfectionism Podcast Stress Management
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control vs controlling

One time, in my work as a school-based SLP, I had a student I needed to screen. The team expected the screen to go smoothly, for this student to “pass” it with no issues, and for it to just be a general component to add to their overall evaluation process. So, they didn’t allow much time before the screen and results were due – not to be rude or inconsiderate, but because it seemed straight forward.  

But it turned out not to be. The student did not pass the screen and an evaluation was needed ASAP. And I could feel the dial of stress start to turn up a notch or five.

This could easily have gone one of two ways. 

It could have been an ongoing, growing source of stress, because it was not part of my plan and I had no room for this in my planned out schedule. If I held to my schedule strictly, all I would be able to see that I was in control, things would go the way the schedule said, and that I would not have room to do it. But, it would still have to get done, just with so much stress and pressure and guilt and surrounding it.

I could also try to loosen the reins a bit and remind myself that things do not have to stick to the schedule exactly – that a shift here or there will happen, and learn from it and do it differently next time (make sure there is always time in case both pieces are needed). 

The big difference here is not a laid back attitude, relaxed schedule, great place to work, or just rolling with it. It’s the way the control of the situation works.

One way is to control the situation in order to avoid stress, which leads to more work, more pressure, and more stress. In the other, it is about regaining control in order to not feel helpless, and to work through the stress and come out the other side with some new insights and tools. 

I see this so much with other SLPs, because I have seen it in myself. You try so hard to map it all out exactly (like your school based schedule) and then, when a small shift happens that is not in the plan, it adds more stress to the situation. So you go in and tweak it even more, perfect it just a bit further until it is “just right”, and then another thing happens and the stress grows and things get even harder, and you try to make the plan work even more. 

It is exhausting. 

When stress builds up, there is often one big player that shows up – control. Having control of a situation can make it so that you feel you are best prepared to face whatever shows up, that you are the one leading the situation, and that the outcome of it is up to you. This can leave you feeling way more settled, full of power, and, well, in control. It can also be the start of additional stress, and a spiral into what you are trying to avoid, because things rarely go *exactly* as planned. 

Having control can be great, and can help reduce stress, but controlling can be something that allows stress to build. They are very similar, but do complete opposite things when it comes to managing your stress. 

When you are controlling, you are forcing the outcome or a situation and expecting that it must go a certain way or it won’t be ok. This might look like planning out each speech therapy session precisely, leaving no wiggle room in your schedule (everything is down to the minute) and expecting that your day and life will go the way you say it will. It sounds good. It sounds like it would make things much less stressful. But it doesn’t. Instead, this often adds more pressure to keep everything going the way it is mapped out, and builds the stress you are so very much trying to control and keep from building. 

Controlling leaves no room for being human, for things to change, or for the perspective and plans of another person. 

Your students might not want to do the activity you have mapped out. They might need to stop to use the restroom or have some questions to ask you, which could take out some of the time from that detailed and rigid schedule that you mapped out. And, you might have someone stop by to talk to you about a student or you don’t feel like doing the lesson you have planned, or students are not available that day. 

Things happen, and the way you look at control can make all the difference. 

Here are questions to ask yourself to determine if you are in control or controlling your (SLP) stress:

  1. Is there room for the unexpected?

One quick way to check is to see if there is room for the unexpected. Unexpected things could be a schedule change, a student who needs to be evaluated ASAP, a colleague needing to talk to you in the middle of the session, a student needing to use the restroom, OT/PT swapping days, etc. These are all parts of life in a workplace, especially a school, and are all part of being human. You can only plan and control so much, before you are micromanaging and not allowing for others perspectives, incorporating needs of others at times, and leaving room for being human and ever-changing. 
Having a little wiggle room, or knowing things do not have to be perfect each time, can leave room for the unexpected, which is absolutely expected. 

  1. Are you avoiding stress by having control? 

There is no way to avoid stress or completely control it. There is no magic, crystal ball to tell you how everything will be laid out and what to expect from all of it. 

Controlling stress is often done to try to avoid experiencing it. If you can control the situation and get it exactly how you want and expect it to be, then you can avoid the stressful parts of it from happening. It sounds so good when you first think about it. But avoiding stress is not possible and leads to more controlling and more stress, and it never give you to the tools to manage it and reduce it

When you look at your stress and your day, are you doing things to avoid it from happening or to have a little say and understanding in how your day unfolds?

  1. Is the control adding to your stress? 

If you are trying to work on stress, the worst thing is when you are feeling it grow more and more, despite doing more and more to make it stop. This is usually a huge red flag that you are controlling vs having some control. Having some control (say, knowing who your students are that day and what activity will be going on in the class at that time) lessens the stress by giving you a little foundation and ground to stand on vs controlling (only seeing these students form a specific time, no matter if they have other needs, and planning an activity that they will do, because it has to be done to meet the goals they way you want them to get done today) which keeps you in the stress loop in your body and brain and keeps you in a pass/fail mindset. 

If the control is adding to your stress, it is time to try something new. Look at what you absolutely need to do (it is way less than you probably think) and give yourself 1-2 things to get done that day, and plan a session with a little more wiggle room. Maybe choose 1 game for the week to use in all your sessions. Have the students help you decide on some activities. And know that it doesn’t have to be perfect or exact to help them reach their goals and to give you data to report as needed. 

I know it is all easier said than done. But just having some awareness of it, and realizing that the control might be more controlling than helpful can be the first step towards unwinding some of the stress and really learning how to manage it. 

Give this a try:

  1. Take 10 minutes to work through these questions. Grab a journal and write them down, and explore the answers you come up with. Allow yourself to be honest – there is no grade or right/wrong, or better than. It is where you are and what you can do next.
  2. When you’re ready, write down 3 swaps you can make to shift from controlling to having control. 
  3. Add in 1 stress management tool to use that day – and make it flexible if needed. 

Want some tools to help you manage your stress? Check out the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox. You can subscribe to this FREE resource and get access to yoga classes, meditation audios, and more. 

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Do you feel you are stressed from controlling your day, or less stress from having a little control? Share in the comments,

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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16Jan

How to Set an Intention that Lasts for Years to Come

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Perfectionism Podcast Stress Management
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set an intention

I was brushing my teeth the other morning when my husband came in and said “Did you set any intentions for this year?”. I laughed and reminded him that, yes, I set so many and we had talked about them, remember? He looked at me and said, “I thought those were all jokes?”. And he was right, they kind of were – finally finish rewatching The OC, bake/eat more cookies, continue to be awesome (j/k), eat more guacamole. 

I thought about it for a minute and asked him “What are your intentions?” and he shared his and I thought about what I really wanted to set as an intention – to get back to walking/hiking more, visit our trails and parks more, have a regular fitness routine. And to wake up and get out of the house on time. 

This was the big one that got me thinking. Logistically, to get out of the house by a certain time, we would need to wake up earlier than we had been last year, which meant get to bed earlier than we had been, which meant a more streamlined evening and nighttime routine. Easier said than done with kids. 

The first week, we maybe got out at the ideal time 3 out of 5 days. 

So, we could look at it two ways:

  1. We didn’t do it. In our first week, we failed at getting out of the house on time watch day. And maybe, it was too hard and we should just forget about it, or push ourselves to do better because we are not good enough yet. It’s pass/fail and we failed. 
  2. We didn’t do it every day, BUT we got three out of 5! That’s an improvement and it is making steps towards this becoming more routine and more easily done. On those days that things did not align ro get out in time, what was going on? Did we not sleep well, were the kids up at night, or did something else happen? What could make it easier – maybe pack lunches or plan clothes the night before, know where our bags are, etc. it’s all about the small wins. 

It’s still the same situation and scenario. Neither way of looking at it changes what happened, but it does change how we continue to move forward with it and what can happen in the future. 

The first viewpoint focuses on what went wrong and how it will not work. It gives no timeframe, no room to improve, and expects it to be right immediately. The second focuses on the truth – it didn’t happen every day – and also on what went well and worked, and ways to shift what didn’t. It gives more time, expects less to start, and focuses on continuing to learn, grow, and move forward. 

It takes it from being a thing to check off on a Resolution “To-Do List” and turns it into a skill to learn and use. 

While this is my intention for the year, it can also transfer into how you go about your stress management and mindset as an SLP this year, especially as you set intentions for the year ahead. 

New Year’s goals aren’t meant to make you perfect, but they can definitely drive perfectionism, which most likely is something you are already grappling with as an SLP. 

One way to shift out of this is to look at your intention for the year (or just for a fresh start at any time) is to look at the goal as a progression, not as perfection. Much like the goals you set for your students. Goals aren’t meant to be mastered immediately. They are meant to be worked up to, little by little, while learning the skills needed to master those goals as you go.

Imagine if you set a goal for your student and expected them to achieve it right away. They (and you) would feel defeated and likely give up after not being able to perfect the enormous amount of skill that reaching that goal right away entailed. You would both probably give up, feel stressed, and feel like you had “failed”. All because you expected it to be perfect right away. 

The same goes for the intention you have for yourself. If you want to work on reducing and managing your stress, then it is ok if you are still feeling stress for days, weeks, or months, or even years, after you begin working on it. It is not about getting it perfect, or reducing it entirely, but about learning new things and growing along the way. 

With perfectionism, the idea is that there aren’t challenges. If things are challenging, and you have to try to learn them and figure it out, then it must be wrong and not for you. But in order to grow and continue to learn, challenge is to only an OK thing, but a welcomed thing. While it seems nice for everything to be simple, easy and challenge-free, if it was that way, life would be stagnant.

Whether your intention is to recycle more, meditate regularly, move your body each day, have a morning routine, hold amazing SLP sessions, or feel less stressed in your work overall, aim for growth rather than perfection. 

Look at the two viewpoints I could take from my intention I mentioned before. 

The first viewpoint focuses on what went wrong and how it will not work. It gives no timeframe, no room to improve, and expects it to be right immediately. The second focuses on the truth – it didn’t happen every day – and also on what went well and worked, and ways to shift what didn’t. It gives more time, expects less to start, and focuses on continuing to learn, grow, and move forward. 

It takes it from being a thing to check off on a Resolution “To-Do List” and turns it into a skill to learn and use. 

When you are setting a goal or intention for yourself, or if you already have, here are a few things to try.

How to Set an Intention that Lasts All Year

  1. What is my expectation? Check in and see if this is something you are planning to have perfect right away or are going to keep working with over time. 
  2. What is my reason for this? Look at what you are setting and connect with it – what is the reason behind it. If you want to get up early, is it because you “should” and you “fail” at mornings, or because you want to ease into your day instead of rush. 
  3. What are some small steps you can take? Instead of an overhaul, look at one tiny thing you can do each week to build into the bigger picture you envision. 
  4. Where is this working? When you restart and as you go, check in and notice the places you are putting into practice, or where your strengths for this are. Then play off of those to help out the places you’re struggling. 

Here is something to remember and to remind yourself of: A little makes a difference.

Even if you are not seeing huge leaps towards your students goals, or you yourself are not making giant steps towards your intentions, that little bit makes all the difference. It is a small step forward, keeping the momentum building and the growth happening. It is not perfect and that means it is not stagnant. It is likely messy and that is learning. 

In fact, small shifts and changes, even little tiny baby steps, are more effective than giant, sweeping changes, because they build gradually over time and are easier to stick with once they are learned. 

So, rather than overhaul your life immediately with your intentions this year, and expect immediate changes with a pass/fail indicator, go for a big intention with small steps to reach it all year and into the years to come. 

When you take this perspective, it can help to give you more freedom and space, to feel less stuck and stressed, and to help with preventing added stress and burnout. 

What small wins did you have with your intentions this year? Share below!

Want some resources to help you keep taking those small steps towards less stress? Make sure to sign up for the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox, including yoga classes, meditations and more. 

Sign up below for immediate access:

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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16Sep

5 Ways to Feel Less Stressed this School Year

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Stress Management
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less stressed this school year

One of the things that happens at the start of the school year, is that you dive into it with the thought of “this year will be different” or, maybe, “I hope this year will be different”. Chances are the year before ended on a highly stressful note, even amongst the joy and bittersweetness of the end of the year, and you have spent the summer trying to decompress, often by ignoring the work, pushing it away, or continuing it work to “get ahead” for the new year. 

And, yet, despite all of this work and positive thinking, the year usually ends up pretty much the same, or even worse if your stress never really turned down at all from the previous year.

As an SLP who is back working in the schools after a (long) hiatus, I am seeing a lot of this happening in the way we go about our work and daily routines. Mostly, because it’s the only way we know how, and it’s how we teach each other.  

It’s no wonder so many SLPs face burnout and chronic stress (even before the pandemic). 

Chronic stress is what happens when those small, daily stressors begin to grow or last longer, and you have less time between them to process and regroup. When they start to become more frequent, or the importance of them grows, your brain doesn’t have the time to work through it and recover before another stressor hits. And with each one, the stress grows and your brain looks out for more things that could be stressful, kind of like being on “high alert”. 

This is where so many of us SLPs leave each day and feel stuck in. 

And, when this is left unchecked, the only place it can go is into burnout – a place where stress grows so much that you no longer feel driven or motivated to work through it and you kind of give up and disconnect from your work. And this can be really, really challenging to work through and come back from – but it is not impossible. 

If you are in burnout or chronic stress, you can begin to shift out of it by setting up your day to support yourself and looking at your stress management and resilience building strategies a little differently. This will help you come out of burnout, and stop chronic stress from growing further, while you start to turn it down as well. 

As you move into a new school year, and are looking for some ways to create some real changes in your stress this year, here are a few things you can try. 

5 Ways to Feel Less Stressed this School Year

Take time for yourself 

Ugh, this has been the most overused phrase of the last two years. Mostly because it is thrown out there with the hopes of being helpful, but in reality is just a phrase that is pretty useless without some action behind it. It’s not the message itself that doesn’t really help, but giving it without any way to actually do it. 

Because, truly, this is one of the most important things you can do to help keep stress low, to build resilience to it, and to work your way out of chronic stress and/or burnout when you find you’ve somehow landed there. 

Take 5 minutes at the start of your day, and end of the day, to check-in with yourself. See how you are doing, maybe grab a drink or snack, go for a quick walk or stretch, or turn out the lights and have some quiet while you breathe. And, if you need a moment or two during the day, pause to breathe for 5-10 deep breaths. These actions seem small, but they can make a big difference and help counteract the “rush” and “push” mentalities that can add to stress and build it. 

Pause before you react

Similar to pausing for a breath to take care of yourself, you can use this to help with reaction. There are many, many times when, yes, the stressor itself is stressful, but it is our reaction that adds to the stress and takes it to another level. This is when we see ourselves and other SLPs or professionals getting really worked up when a session doesn’t go exactly as planned, when a student doesn’t show up or someone forgets to send them, or when you have to change the plan completely for the day at a moment’s notice. It is so frustrating and the reactions we have can add to our stress – fuming, sending an angry email, etc. These are natural and human responses, so it’s not that you should ignore them. But you could take a mindful approach to observe rather than react to them. They are not you (which is also part of the next segment). They are the reaction that you are having at a really challenging and frustrating moment. 

So, before you react to the situation, pause and take a few deep breaths, or even step away for a few moments. Taking this pause gives you a moment to think, to find clarity, to ask yourself “what has this brought up for me”, and shifts you into a place where you can observe, explore, and let the stress of it go – another place of action. 

Remember – Stress is not you

It sure does feel like the stress is you, and that is part of your makeup, but it is not you. Stress is real and it is a survival mechanism. And the things we consider “stress” are really the triggers of the reaction in your brain and your body. It is an automatic thing that happens, for some more than others, depending on your circumstances, past experiences, and how much you are already trying to process and filter through in that moment. AND the tools you have been given to cope and work through (with) it in your life so far. 

So, while it does get really big and scary and seems like it is going to take over everything…it is not who you are. YOU are not Stress. Stress is happening TO you and within you. You can look at it as the enemy, or look at it as a survival instinct that is a natural part of being a human, and then try some strategies to work through it and manage it from here on out. 

Make friends with breaks and downtime

One of the biggest challenges I have heard about from SLPs is the guilt and uncertainty when there does happen to be a break or amount of time in the schedule that is not direct therapy sessions scheduled. I haven’t really had a problem with this before (lol), but there has been a little inkling or two when I look at my schedule and see space – even after I have scheduled over 30 students for 3 partial days.  

Having a break or a moment to breathe seems wrong, especially if you are used to a jam packed schedule, tons of testing, only being paid for direct time, or high productivity rates. 

But these small breaks are incredibly beneficial for you. For one, they give you space to shift your schedule, to test or write reports or hold a meeting, to plan and prep for the next sessions or day, and to collaborate. And they also give you time to get up and move, to take a walk, to stretch. Time to breathe, pause, check-in. To eat, hydrate, or go to the bathroom. And to sit back and process and recharge before you jump back in. 

Breaks don’t make you weak or lazy or inefficient, they make you better able to do your work. 

Remember we are all humans (even you!)

This school year, remember that you are human, You are not a computer or a robot or anything that runs perfectly (and, honestly, these aren’t perfect either). You might make mistakes, need to try things and make changes, or just have a rough day. It is ok and does not mean you have failed, things will stay that way, or that you are a terrible SLP. It means you’re a human, going through a human experience. And if others seem to have a rough day or are not perfect, remember that they are also human. We all make mistakes and can greet them with curiosity and compassion. 

As you move into the school year, give these 5 strategies a try. When stress starts to build, take a break, pause before you react, and remind yourself that the stress is not you. Utilize some downtime that you have when it shows up and remember that you and all those you meet are humans, trying to figure it all out, too. 

Which one of these can you see yourself using this year? Share in the comments!

For more resources to help manage and lessen the stress you face this year, make sure to sign up for The Resilient SLP Toolbox. It’s a free resource library full of tools such as yoga classes, meditations, journal templates and more.

Subscribe below for instant access!

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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8Aug

3 Mindset Shifts for the Upcoming School Year

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Career Advice New SLP Perfectionism Stress Management
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mindset shifts for the school year

When I started working in the schools, way back when, I was terrified and confused and had NO idea what I was doing. All of my previous jobs, and most of my grad school training and focus,  had been on working with adults in the medical field. I had worked in schools before, in undergrad, but this was totally new to me and I felt completely unprepared. And, so my stress grew. I tried to figure out ways to make the school year more enjoyable and more steady, but I either felt like I was falling behind or not doing enough.

I worked at a school with very lovely people, and multiple SLPs. I had administrators that supported me and we enjoyed working together. And, that first year, the school psych, who was also new to the building, would show up at my office door so we could try to figure out needs and reports and all the things together. 

But, even so, I still felt a little alone and that I was not enough as an SLP. The disconnect that I felt was not something that was talked about much, and I felt that I was wrong for not being as enthusiastic and excited and driven as the other SLPs – basically, I was not constantly frazzled and in an uproar about therapy materials, laminating things, going to extra meetings, putting in time before and after school, and living and breathing “SLP” life. 

My mindset and perspective were focused on the lack, the negative, and the “wrong” things I was doing. And with that, I only really saw those things and my focus was on all that was not how I wanted it to be. 

It kept me from making more connections, from seeing my students as people, and from really and truly being able to see the parts of my job and work that were  working and that were maybe even a bit more functional than the things others were doing each day. 

It took me a very long time, and a lot of perspective shifts, to finally feel comfortable with the way I approached my work, and to feel that I did not have to do it all and be all things in order to do good work, to help my students thrive, and to BE an SLP. 

It was not easy to shift into a new mindset, and at times those former voices and outlooks come to pull me back in. The biggest difference now is that I can recognize them, bring my awareness to them, and use them to learn rather than be pulled down by them. 

If you are feeling this way in your work, here are 3 mindset shifts for the upcoming school year:

  • There is no need to strive for perfection.
    • Being an SLP means that there is a tendency to lean towards perfectionism (chicken and the egg situation – did this come from grad school or is it why you chose the profession? Either way, it is still happening). You want things to be done perfectly and to do them perfectly, and you want to be perfect each day to show you are good enough for this job (hello, Imposter Syndrome!). When it doesn’t happen (because we are humans, working with humans), it can be frustrating and make you feel defeated and annoyed. And this can lead to a lot of stress when it happens over and over again. 
    • Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on two things: what is working and what you can learn. When you look at what is working, it helps you to see the strengths you have and gives you a direction to keep moving forward in. What works for you, and what you are good at doing as an SLP, may look different than another SLP or colleague. This is good, because it keeps things growing, and gives opportunities to learn and for students to have different experiences. When you look at what you can learn, it takes the stigma and shame away from making a mistake or not fully knowing something, and gives you a place to shift, grow, and make changes within it. Not being perfect is no longer a flaw, but a chance to learn more about a therapy material, practice, or way of doing something. 
  • Check in with yourself:
    • No one is going to show up at 100% each day. If you expect this (there’s that perfectionism kicking in again), it will lead you to feeling frustrated and that you are not enough. Some days will be easier, some will be harder. Your students will have days that are easy for them and days that are not. And all of this is ok and very, very human. 
    • Instead of pushing to be 100% all the time, meet yourself where you are and aim for the best of that. Check in with yourself in the morning when you wake up or right before you begin your day. See how you are doing and where you are at. If you are tired and overwhelmed and feeling more 35% than 100%, give yourself some grace – shift to an easier session or allow yourself to not bring as much energy, understanding it is because you are tired and not because you are a horrible SLP. 
  • Don’t expect it to be good right away/the first try.
    • I was terrible at anything athletic or body related growing up. And so I was told I was not and would not be good at them. It kept me from trying anything new or related to them. But I loved moving my body and working out, and, eventually, I learned that I could just keep trying, set a goal, and make small steps to improve in my way. And now I teach yoga and mind-body fitness classes, have run 2 half marathons, and am known as the “active mom” around my daughters school. But it could have been different if I kept expecting to be good at things right away.
    • Being an SLP is a lot like that. You might not be very good at first, at least not at everything. Or you might just have some questions or need to try a few ways of doing therapy (books, crafts, games, tabletops, active activities) before you find what works for the way you work.
    • Give yourself time to try a few things and come back to that “what did I learn? ” question. This keeps you in a growth mindset and a place of learning. Not because you don;t know enough but because you want to learn more. 

As the school year begins, again, or you are just looking to have a new start at your work, consider coming at it with a new mindset. This can help to let go of some of the pressure that creates stress, and give you more space, connection, and enjoyment from the work you do. 

You are an amazing SLP, even when you feel that you are struggling and unsure. Give yourself grace, look at what you can learn, see what is working, and know that you can reach out, ask questions, and you do not have to be perfect. 

What mindset shift are you looking to make this year? Share in the comments below!

For more resources to help with stress and build resilience, sign up for the FREE resource library, The Resilient SLP Toolbox. You’ll get meditation audios, yoga class videos and more. Enter your email below to subscribe.

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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22Jul

3 Important Boundaries to Set as an SLP

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Career Advice Reduce Stress Stress Management
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boundaries to set as an SLP

The life of an SLP – bringing work home, staying late, going in early, taking on way more than is possible (not always by choice), never feeling like you did enough, always having more work to do, working on weekends, bringing it home (to either work at night or feel guilty about the pile of papers still in your bag)…and the list goes on. 

Yes, there are also super enjoyable and rewarding parts of the job as well. 

Things like, helping people communicate more efficiently and with function, educating families and providers and educators on the best practices and the ones that remember to bring humanity back in, that moment when you see the student or patients hard work pay off and they reach that big goal. The feeling that you made a difference in the world and that even bigger feeling that the person you work with is making a difference in the world. 

And, sometimes, it’s just fun. It can be a really fun profession to work in.

You can sing songs with kids, have dance parties to follow directions, play silly games, read and make-up stories, and have conversations with adults about alllllll kinds of things while working in their communication. 

Unfortunately, those parts that are super hard often outweigh or start to erase the other pieces. 

For one – it is how your brain is wired. You are automatically going to look for the negative and the challenge (without looking for the opportunity to grow), and start to focus more and more on these things. It does not mean there is something wrong with you, it is the way your brain tries to protect you and alert you to potential stress and threats that could harm you. But really, its the constant alerts that do the most harm – keeping your stress response turned up and leaving you in a constant state of stress, overwhelm, and , eventually, burnout. 

So what can you do to make it better?

This like advocating, changing the system, reworking policies, and the like are always hot topics and ABSOLUTELY need to be done. BUT there will still be stress in them. The real thing to do – so that you can be grounded and ready to take those bigger actions – is to start managing and turning down the stress response, so that you can start to see not only the negatives and challenges, but those good and beautiful pieces again. 

A super helpful way to do this, and to create much more ease in your day, is by creating better boundaries as an SLP. 

The lines of work and home are often very blurred for SLPs, due to the nature of the work, the workloads that many face (especially in the school systems), and the need to so it *perfectly* or fear that you are not enough (aka Imposter Syndrome, which runs wild in our field – thanks grad schools!). It is more common than not to bring work home or stay late, to work outside of your paid hours, and to not feel you’re able to say “no” – or just not be used to saying “no”, so it is really hard to do. 

All of these breakdown any boundaries that help you have time to shift your brain to new things, process your day, and work through the stress, while finding time for joy, hobbies, and just life that is not revolving around being an SLP. 

Setting up better boundaries can help you to find the space for other parts of your life again. 

Here are 3 Types of boundaries to set as an SLP (and human!): 

Physical Office Boundaries:

This is important if you share space or if you are working from home. Having a physical space that has a literal boundary is incredibly important. As SLPs, we like to joke about how we often have a closet, corner or a room, or shared space of 3 SLPs to do our work in, and we joke, because if we didn;t, then we would probably break down. It is really, really hard to do your job without a proper space. But it is also really hard to set boundaries of “sorry, I am unavailable” or “I am working on something and can;t talk right now”, or just having some quiet time to think. 

If you are working from home, make sure you have walls and a door, so you can do the work. And, if this is not possible, set up some kind of partition or divider, so you can have more of a room to work in. It helps to send the message of “this is my (sacred) space, you need permission to be here”.

And that, OMG, is a huge thing.

Emotional/Mental Boundaries:

The biggest part of this is being able to set boundaries that help with your mental health and emotional needs – specifically setting the boundary of “No”. This can seem really hard to do, and it is. You are probably not used to being able to say no in your work (again, thanks grad school), or letting someone know that it is not something you want or realistically can do. 

I get it. As an SLP, there are so many things that contribute to wanting to say yes to everything. Not wanting to disappoint or upset someone, not wanting to admit you can’t do it (perfectionism), not wanting to seem weak, fear of being fired, wanting to prove our profession is just as amazing as others, not wanting to be overlooked so you do it all to please everyone. 

But saying “No” is a huge boundary that does one thing – creates more space. 

By saying “no”, you set a boundary that protects your mental health, by reducing stress and the overwhelm of taking on more. It also gives you more room emotionally to recharge and process your day. And it frees up time for really focusing and delivering on the things you are already doing. 

And, saying “No” is the best way to advocate. If you take it all on, then it becomes expected of you and other SLPs to do the same, and then take on even more. 

PS If you fear saying “no” because of being fired, you should probably get out of there now. It’s toxic, not worth your time and effort, and there are other places to work that would honor and support you. 

Schedule/Day Boundaries

When I worked in teletherapy, I once had someone say to me “Isn’t it great you can take your work anywhere?:

I heard this a LOT when more people started working from home, and especially over the pandemic. 

And, yeah, at first that sounds great. You could go on endless “vacations” or travel, and at least in the fantasy world. In reality, it means that when you do go on a vacation, you are still working, not really on vacation, and your home-work boundaries get blurred. So there is no break, no breast and no recharge – just the added stress of everyone else checking out for vacation while you sit in a hotel room and type on your computer, or stay up until 11:45pm working after a day of fun. 

This happens on a smaller scale in your daily routines, and this is perhaps where it builds even bigger. Taking work home, going in early or staying late, not getting paid for the work outside of therapy time. All of this blurs the lines of work and home, and makes you feel like you are constantly working and constantly underpaid, with no breaks, no rest, and no time to process. This is where stress breeds. 

Having boundaries of “this is when I work and after this, even if I am not done, I don’t do more” is a necessity to make it, to survive, and to thrive as an SLP. 

It is so important to set some boundaries as an SLP. Focus on these each week, month or school year, however works for you, and stick to them, knowing that you will only feel better about the work because of it. 

If you are feeling more and more stressed from your work, or that there is not a lot of time when you are NOT working, try looking at your current boundaries. 

Where are the lines between work and home blurring? Where can you make some adjustments?

Then start to put them into practice by taking action – write it down, let someone know if needed, and mark your calendar or set up some reminders. 

It will be challenging at first, but this is the type of challenge that helps you stretch, grow, and come out the other side stronger and steadier. 

What boundary are you most struggling with? Share in the comments!

Want more tools to help you manage and reduce your stress? Check out the FREE resources in The Resilient SLP Toolbox. You can subscribe below by filling in your name and email, and you’ll get instant access to a library of audios, videos, and more to help you better manage and  reduce your stress.  

With love and light, 

Jessi

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15Jul

4 Ways to Help Stop Imposter Syndrome in its Tracks

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Career Advice Perfectionism Stress Management
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Stop Imposter Syndrome

There is this thing that we SLPs experience regularly, in a huge amount, that likes to come calling when we are suddenly not 100% sure of a therapy protocol, if a session went differently than planned, when a parent asks us a question and catches us off guard, or when your supervisor says “are you sure?”. It’s that little voice, calling you from afar, like a creature luring you into a forbidden fairytale forest, only to trick you once you follow it.

And it is Imposter Syndrome. 

The feeling that you are a fraud. That you know nothing. That you are lucky you have made it this far, And that today might be the day when you are exposed and found out. 

I know I have experienced this as an SLP, as a yoga teacher, and as a writer, author, and coach here in this space. That sudden panic or thoughts that “oh no, I can’t be enough”.

I know I am not alone in these feelings, especially as an SLP. 

So many SLPs, maybe even you, head to work each day with their fingers-crossed, hoping that no one notices they have absolutely no clue what they are doing. Or, at least, it feels that way. That even though you have spent 6 or so years learning all of the ins and outs of the field and how to do therapy, and how to evaluate someone, and you are the expert in this, that, somehow, you are really just a fraud, disguised as the expert and the one who is knowledgeable about all of this stuff. 

Imposter Syndrome can be a huge block when it comes to letting go of stress, connecting to your work, and growing in it, even when challenges arise. It can come from perfectionism, and the competitiveness that is often in our field and in grad school. 

And it is really no wonder when you look at a few things about Imposter Syndrome. 

What is Imposter Syndrome?

According to the APA, “impostor phenomenon [also called Imposter Syndrome] occurs among high achievers who are unable to internalize and accept their success. They often attribute their accomplishments to luck rather than to ability, and fear that others will eventually unmask them as a fraud.”

This means that Imposter Syndrome happens to those who are used to striving for more, reaching high productivity levels and caseloads, and wanting to do the best, and do it “right” with no mistakes. It means feeling the need to be perfect and to do more than is expected, or more than is possible, to prove you are worthy of the position, of the work you do, and of being the SLP for these students or clients. 

And it sums up the realities of being an SLP better than any grad school flier or job recruiter ever could. 

Imposter Syndrome can happen when you are in grad school or in your CF year, or as a brand new CCC-SLP, but it can also happen when you are a “seasoned” SLP, who has been practicing in the same setting and building for decades. If you are leaning towards perfectionism or having to meet high expectations all the time, Imposter Syndrome is likely to hit and likely to keep you from reaching out for help. 

As WebMD puts it, professionally “If you  believe your career success is due to luck instead of your skills, you may be less likely to ask for a promotion or raise. You could also feel you need to overwork to meet the unrealistically high standard you’ve created for yourself.

Studies show that imposter syndrome can cause more burnout, lower job performance, and less job satisfaction.”

As an SLP, it is likely that you already know how hard burnout can hit in this field, and that chronic stress can lead to it. But you might not have realized that the perfectionist tendencies or doing more and doing the job *just right* might be leading to that same burnout and overwhelm, rather than helping with it. 

If you are facing Imposter Syndrome, here are a few things you can do.

4 Ways to Stop Imposter Syndrome in its Tracks

Bring in awareness: Where is it that you are currently struggling to do more or do perfectly? Where are you feeling that you are not enough, and possibly striving to prove you can do it?

Just observing this part of your day and your habits, brings awareness to it. In mindfulness, awareness is often the first step towards creating new habits or making a change. It is about seeing what is happening, so you can understand it better, without forcing it to be different or labeling it as “bad”, “wrong”, or “not good enough”.

Reflect on it: Ask yourself, what is the purpose here? What is not working and what is working?

You might be familiar with hearing people say “remember your why?”. So, when I say, “what is the purpose here”, this is not quite what I am talking about. Remembering your why can be helpful when you feel disconnected and have had a really tough day. But this is something a little different. 

Here, take a movement to pause and reflect on what the purpose of what you are doing, the Imposter Syndrome-inducing, perfectionist-driven things, and what the point of them is. If you are working really, really hard to do more and take on more, to prove you can do it, stop and ask yourself, “Why this action? What is the purpose?”. It can help you to take the awareness to the next level  – to move from noticing what is happening to understanding why it is happening and why this is what you are using to work with. 

Often, when you go back to the purpose of it all, you can see how the habits and strategies you are using, that are leading to Imposter Syndrome, are keeping you from reaching that purpose, rather than bringing you towards it. 

Take note of what is not working for you, and, in the next step, find some ways to help shift and move forward. 

Shift your focus: What is working and going well?

 If you are stuck in Imposter Syndrome, you are likely very hard on yourself and critical of the work you do each day. This means your focus is on what is not going well, what you are not doing “right” and what is not working, over and over and over again. If you start consciously shifting ot what is working, and train yourself to make this a habit and routine each day, it can help you to see all the things that you are doing well, give you motivation to do more of those, and connect you back to your work, without the need to prove you are worthy of it. 

Reach out for support. Find an SLP friend or mentor that you can reach out to and share your feelings of Imposter Syndrome with.

When I was a new SLP, especially in the school setting, I felt really alone with my struggles of feeling disconnected from my work. It seemed like everyone else LOVED their work, enjoyed coming in early and staying late, and lived to be an SLP with each and every breath. And I just didn’t. And that was ok. I just didn’t know it then. 

Having people who I can reach out to now, and seeing that others are going through similar things and other things, helps to know that we don’t need to be perfect to be an SLP. We just need to keep showing up. And we don’t know it all or won’t always to it *just right*. 

Social media can make this seem even worse, when you see people talking about how they would NEVER do therapy this way, or showcasing all the perfect and wonderful things in their day while leaving out the challenges, or judging others for not being perfect. It is NOT the reality of most things and is typically one-sided (another post for another day).

Finding a group of SLPs online that are kind (not judgmental or snarky) or a mentor you can reach out to when things are confusing or a friend you can go grab a coffee/wine or zoom call with, can help you to work through it and not feel like the only one who doesn’t know it all. 

If you are feeling that you are not good enough or in the wrong field or that you have no idea what you are doing, first know that you are not alone, and second, now that it is Imposter Syndrome calling you in. 

Stop, become aware of it, reflect on it, focusing on what is working for you, and find someone to connect to where you can share your feelings and frustrations or ask a question or twelve. 

When do you feel Imposter Syndrome the most? Share in the comments below!

For more resources, to help with Imposter Syndrome and Managing Stress, make sure to sign up for The Resilient SLP Toolbox. You’ll get access to online yoga classes, meditation audios, journal templates, guides and more. 

Enter your email below for immediate access. And, hey, did I mention it’s FREE!!

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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15Jun

5 Ways to Shift Into Summer Mode

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Self Care Stress Management
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Shift Into Summer Mode

Summer Break, even when you don’t work in the schools, is usually a time when schedules get relaxed, vacations are taken, and there is time to finally decompress and take care of YOU.

At least in theory.

When you finally get that first day off, after the mad rush of doing it ALL to get there, it can be a little more challenging than expected to just let go.

And this goes for those shorter vacations, long weekends, and breaks during the year. 

I have spent more vacations and long weekends than I would like to admit, stressed and tense, pretty much right up until that last day or two before it ends. 

When you are used to being productive, go-go-going, and being very busy non-stop, it is super challenging to do the one thing you have been wanting to do for so long – nothing. Your brain and body have been trained to keep going and to keep doing, all year long. So, even though you are feeling mentally and physically exhausted and drained, actually relaxing and unwinding can be incredibly hard to do. 

It is not as simple as not working and feeling relaxed. There is a much bigger change and shift that might happen, or need to happen, otherwise you could end up spending the summer stressed about your inability to not be stressed. Which, of course, keeps you stuck in the Cycle of Stress, while letting it continue to grow. 

Let’s be real. Your brain is probably full. Your heart might be feeling full or feeling heavy. You are probably wanting to do a million different things with no idea when to start. You might not have the first clue on how to relax and “let go”. Or you might have a jam packed summer schedule that you are now trying to balance and figure out how to work. 

It is hard to shift out of productivity go-go-go mode, and to process the entire year, while also trying to do some other stuff. It is enjoyable, but really, it’s a temporary lifestyle change that can be welcoming and still challenging. 

To help, you can try using a few strategies to help you shift out of work mode and into whatever mode your summer needs. 

5 Ways to Shift Into Summer Mode

Allow time to shift:

Summer might start instantly, but you might not be ready in an instant – even when you soooo want to be. While ideally you would love to jump right into the summer schedules, plans, and sunshine, you might need a buffer to get you there. If you are feeling this way, try to take a day or two to just have nothing planned, or to do some things to wrap up the end of the year, so you can be ready for summer. Maybe you sleep a little more or read a bit. Maybe you grab a coffee or tea and then just relax for the day. Maybe you go to the pool alone or you let your kids know that you’ll just hang around for a day while you feel less exhausted. 

It might feel like FOMO or that you only have thismuch time to do all the things, but having that one or two days to just decompress, rest, and take it slow, can help you shift into a mindset where you will enjoy that time later even more. 

Have a transition:

Just like at the end of the workday, it helps to have a transition point – something to tell your mind to shift over into this new mode, and let the work go. 

It can be really easy to come home from work, and still be thinking about and mentally “at” work. And this is so very mentally exhausting, as you try so hard to be present but your brain is still in the office, at your desk, wondering about your paperwork piles and workload. 

The same can happen for the summer. 

You are physically floating in your pool and your mind is still thinking about how hard the year was, that one meeting that did not go as planned, how challenging that caseload was/is, and all the work that comes with the job. And you start wondering is it worth it, when will it be easier, is the stress going to continue or get worse, and on and on and on. 

Not an enjoyable float around the pool. 

Having a transition – something to signal to your brain that it is time to shift out of work mode – can help you at the end of the workday, but can also help at the end of the school year or before a vacation. 

Maybe you have a gathering with friends to celebrate. Maybe you toast or cheers or open the pool. Maybe you write down your thoughts and feelings about the year. Maybe you have a dance party by yourself. Maybe you find a class at the gym that you really want to go to, and now you can since it is summer time. Big or small, this can help you make the mental shift. 

Look ahead, a little:

While being in the present moment is absolutely a good thing, and the real goal of it all, it can also help to look ahead..a little bit. There might be some things that you want to do or places you want to go this summer break. Having this thing to plan and look forward to might be what you need to help you find a rhythm and routine for the summer. It can give you a purpose and a thing to do, not just for the sake of being productive, but to help you feel more fulfilled during the summer break, and like you have something that you are looking forward to doing, rather than feeling stressed about just wandering through each day with no aim. 

Grab a new hobby and keep it going

Another thing that is similar to goal setting or planning is to find a hobby – either a new one or one to get back to. This can help you find a way to do “nothing” this summer. But, it can also help you once you head back to work at the end of summer break, or your long weekend break. Having a hobby can help you set better work-life balance, and leave work at work, as well as give you that little shift to transition from work to home mode. You can get into a routine with it now, and then use that as your reason, if you need one, to not work long hours, to take time for yourself, and to have something that is your to plan to do. 

Take time to process:

Assess the year to help close it out and to process it all. There might be a LOT of things that you are feeling and thinking and still sorting out mentally from this school year. 2021-2022 was a tough one, maybe the toughest, for so many people working in the schools. And, when you are constantly going to get through, you might not have had time to process, really let it all sink in, or work through it. So that stress may bubble up to the surface, even though you’re just sitting back and reading a fantasy novel. 

One thing that can help is to try some journaling. One that is useful is the brain dump, which helps you to unload a scenario or thought that keeps swirling about your mind into a new place. Another is to look at both “what was challenging” and “what went well” as a way to look at those things that were particularly challenging and acknowledge them, and then also to see what you are doing well and what is working for you, so you can keep shifting towards those and using them. 

If you are feeling a little stressed about the ease of summer, or the lack of ease that is showing up, try one or a few of these and help yourself to shift into summer mode. 

Want more resources to help?

Join the Resilient SLP Toolbox for more resources to help you in this transition and all summer long. In the Resilient SLP Toolbox, you’ll find meditation audios, yoga and mindful movement class videos, journal templates and more. You can subscribe to this free resource, and access it immediately, by entering your email below. 

Which are you going to try to help ease into summer? Leave a comment or send a message to jessi@jessiandricks.com

With Love and Light, 

Jessi

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