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14Mar

Are you checking out on your SLP stress?

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Podcast Stress Management
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checking out

There is a big truth about most adults and most SLP programs – they are not taught stress management.

I have spent more time than I would like to admit scrolling, mindlessly, through social media, wasting hours of my evening, or watching shows without really watching them, just so I wouldn’t have to do anything else. Because I was stressed and that’s what I thought might help. 

As an adult, and as an SLP, you get to make decisions, help others to thrive, and have a handy-dandy Masters Degree. It seems like you should be able to do something as simple as figure out how to not feel so stressed all the time, and that is why it is so infuriating and so stressful.

Because it is really hard, and the skills may not be there. And it is not our default- most of us are not taught what to do about stress. 

Honestly, most of us are taught “It gets better when you graduate and are in the field doing it your own way”, only to find out that the stress just shifts, if not increases.

Without a lot of tools or knowledge about what to do about stress, besides “suck it up buttercup”, it can be easy to lean into the first, simplest thing  – checking out each night after work. 

Stress usually comes with a side of mental exhaustion. If not at first, then as it builds overtime. This mental exhaustion can make it feel like there is nothing better than to sit on the couch, saddle up with your favorite wine or Diet Dr Pepper, grab a bag of snacks, and binge watch your way through your favorite Netflix show. Sometimes, late at night after you get the kids to bed and straighten the house and REALLY dive into the exhaustion. 

It seems like a good fix – check out for a bit, not think about stress, and then feel less stressed.

But does it work?

Once in a while, if you do this, you might be thinking “yes! I feel so much better after an occasional couch night”. But if this is routine, you might be noting that the stress is still there and possibly growing. 

This is what can happen when you check-out vs check-in. So how can you tell which you are doing?

Checking Out = Avoidance

When you’re checking out, you are doing things that help you to completely avoid the stress you are feeling and facing. It is an avoidant habit and it is usually used because you are so mentally exhausted and drained, that the idea of doing one more thing is too much. It allows you to check out for a little bit – maybe bingeing a show or mindlessly scrolling social media – so that you are not engaging or thinking about the stress.

Once in a while, this is so needed and can help. It gives you that bit of reprieve, even for a few moments. It becomes an issue, and can add to stress, when it becomes your usual go-to. 

Checking out does not do anything to help the stress go away or manage it, it simply ignores it. This means that while you’re ignoring it, it continues to grow and build, so it can often be bigger and more stressful once you have to face it. 

Checking In = Awareness

When you’re checking in, you are consciously doing an activity that helps you to reflect, check in on yourself, and meet your needs in that moment, even when it is really difficult to do and acknowledge. It is an activity that brings awareness to the stress you are feeling, and then does something to help you move through it or shift out of it. This could be a journaling activity, shaking or moving your body, or finding some quiet or meditation to help decompress.

It is not always easy to do, but it is what helps you to reduce the stress response in your brain and rewire it to not get fired up as much when new stressors arrive. It also helps your brain to shift out of being focused on all the potential stressors that you might find. 

Checking in faces the stress, because it is already there, and brings some awareness to it. From there, you are able to see what you need in that moment to work through it a little better. It is not about finding a solution, but about shifting your brain and body out of stress mode.

I promise, I am not saying throw away your TV and delete all social media. Heck no, I love both of those things and spend way more time on them than I should. But, when you notice they are your go-to, just take note. You are probably overwhelmed by something or there is some stress building, and bring some awareness to it. That’s always the first step. And then maybe continue scrolling for tonight, but then tomorrow take some time to do something for yourself that helps work through the stress a little – even 5 minutes can make a difference,

Then jump into your favorite spot on the couch, hit play, and enjoy your shows – connected and not checked out. 

What do you end up doing – checking in or checking out? Share in the comments below!

Want more resources to help you take 5 minutes to check in? Sign up below by entering your email address and get access to the FREE resource library – The Resilient SLP Toolbox – where you’ll find all kinds of tools to help you start reducing and managing your stress today. 

With Love and Light, 

Jessi  

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3Mar

What is “Toxic Positivity”?

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Stress Management
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toxic positivity

As a Stress Management Coach and Mindfulness and Yoga Teacher, I love sharing how positivity can help to manage stress and build resilience. It is one of the foundational tools. But what about when it becomes “toxic”? When does being positive turn into something known as Toxic Positivity?

Have you ever heard phrases such as “Good Vibes Only” or “Just be Happy?”. These are well-intentioned, motivational phrases that also fall under the genre of toxic positivity. For a long time, I kind of brushed this aside, because I had used them (I have a shirt that says “Choose Happiness” that I sometimes can’t bring myself to wear), and I loved learning about the wonderful effects of positivity on stress and the brain. But there are times when this positivity can go a step too far and become toxic, or potentially harmful.

When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it can feel like there is nothing going right in your life and in the world. Your brain will continue to look for stress, in order to protect you from it, and this can keep you feeling more and more stressed. Often, especially when dealing with perfectionism which is high in the field of Speech Language Pathology, this can make you feel like there is something wrong or that you are “incorrect” and have failed. And then the stress grows a little more.

One thing you are likely to notice when you are stressed, is the type of language and phrases people use to show support or to give you advice, and how these are often not helpful at all. You might hear, from mostly well-intentioned people, something along the lines of “look on the bright side” or “at least it’s not as bad as this…”. These could come from a co-worker, a boss, your parents, a neighbor, or even a good friend, trying to cheer you up. Heck, you might even hear it from yourself.

While these are meant to cheer you up, the truth is, these often have the opposite effect, leaving you more stressed, frustrated, and isolated.

There is this clip from a movie, where one of the characters is going through a hard time, so he calls him mom, and she tells him to “stay chipper”. She means well, but it does nothing to help him out or feel that he was seen and heard.

And this can happen a lot in our own lives.

You tell a friend that you are experiencing something really hard and are very stressed, and they tell you “just smile and feel better”. And it feels as if you are talking to a wall or that you must be wrong in being stressed (which you are not). 

This can happen because instead of acknowledging how you feel and how much that stress must suck, or maybe even sharing that you are not alone and they have been there too (and then, “here is what helped me”), it just makes you feel that you are wrong and invalidates how you are feeling. Like you have a dirty little secret to hide.

The name for this is Toxic Positivity.

According to VeryWellMind, Toxic Positivity is defined as “…the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset.”. With toxic positivity, you ignore the growing stress and carry on as if everything is ok. You “just stay chipper”.

Toxic Positivity can lead to things like:

  • shame
  • guilt
  • frustration
  • isolation
  • more stress and overwhelm

This doesn’t mean that being positive or optimistic is bad or wrong, but that, when it is made to ignore the stress you are facing and only see the good, that it is no longer helpful or a stress management tool.

The phrase “good vibes only” sums it up pretty nicely- only positive and no room for anything else. 

Have you ever experienced Toxic Positivity in your life – from yourself or others? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

With Love and Light (not Positive Vibes Only), 

Jessi

PS If you are looking to learn even more about Toxic Positivity, how it might be showing up in your own life and work, and how to use positivity to build resilience, without being toxic, join me for the March 2022 workshop “Toxic Positivity vs Positivity” in The Resilient SLP Monthly Workshop Series.

You can find more details and how to join this series here: Workshop

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10Oct

How SLPs Can Combat the Sunday Blues

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Reduce Stress Self Care
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Sunday Blues Pinterest
The “Sunday Blues”. It’s a phrase that floats around many of the SLP fb groups, forums and pages. It is something we talk about with each other, but only if we are sure it is a “safe” place and others are probably feeling it to – otherwise we might be judged, seen as not good enough, or perhaps even told we aren’t cut out for the gig.

The “Sunday Blues” is a feeling that many SLPs get at the end of the weekend, right as they start to wind down and get into work mode again. Some feel it lurking throughout their weekend, ready to creep out at any moment. While others send their weekend feeling completely disconnected form the stress of work, only to have it hit them hard when they start to wind down the fun and turn their focus onto getting ready for the week ahead.

The Sunday Blues can hit any SLP, any day of the week, and it is usually a feeling, in the pit of your stomach, that starts to grow and grow until you get to bed, sometimes keeping you from sleeping at night and leaving you feeling exhausted come Monday morning. Just in time for a new week.

These feelings are a form of anxiety, that can build from a gnawing feeling in your belly to a full blown panic and anxiety attack. The first time you feel this, it can be alarming, because you may not know where or why it is happening. There are many SLPs you have started to feel this Sunday Blues feeling when they have seemed perfectly happy and content with their work.

The feeling usually starts to happen because there is an imbalance in your work and home life. It might not be something you are aware of, or it might seem like you aren’t doing anything different than the other professionals you know – taking work home for the evenings or weekend, prepping on the weekends, running errands all weekend, spending time with your family and friends, sleeping in late or staying up late, etc. All of these things can start to build, and can throw your life out of balance before you realize it.

The further anxiety and panic can come from something called “future-tripping”, where you keep looking ahead, to the impending week and all there is to do, which builds the stress around the week. These Sunday Blues can make the week ahead and the tasks that are involved seem much more stressful and time-consuming than they really will be. By looking too far ahead and thinking about “what could happen”, you start to create a build up of anxiety and stress that might not be needed.

To help combat the Sunday Blues, in both forms, there are a few things you can do:

  1. Make sure your weekends are replenishing you, and not depleting you more.
    1. If you are running errands, paying bills, chauffeuring kids around, etc, you are just doing more work (or a different kind) at home. Give yourself time to do something for you that isn’t a task or errand.
    2. Don’t bring work home. There will be times that you have to, but it should not be the norm. Leave work at work, and find time there to do paperwork, and consider, as hard as it is, to plan less so you have more time at work for other things.
  2. Create a Must-Do list for your weekend Self-Care (you can find one in the SLP Toolbox).
    1. 3 things that you will do (they can be small) to make sure you take time for yourself.
    2. Think of things like a cup of tea, read a book, go to yoga, take a walk, wake up 15 minute earlier than everyone else, etc.
  3. Prepare for the week, but only in small doses.
    1. Make sure you have clean clothes, food, etc, but you don’t have to spend your entire weekend doing chores and meal prepping.
    2. Have the basics ready, but also give yourself time to enjoy the weekend.
  4. If you start future-tripping, try a breathing and meditation practice to bring you back to the present moment.
    1. This will help you to bring yourself out of your head and into your body, in this moment, so you can take action (or rest) where needed.
    2. Try this video for more tips or this meditation.

If you are feeling the pressure of the week ahead, it doesn’t have to continue each week or get worse each day. Take some time to bring yourself out of the moment of stress, so you can take action, find more time for self-care, balance your work and weekend, and maybe take the next steps in your career life as needed.

If you are looking for more ways to reduce stress, here are a few other things to try:

You can also subscribe to the free “SLPToolbox” for even more resources and meditation practices.

Much Love,

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3Sep

3 Ways for SLPs to Stress Less this School Year

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Career Advice Reduce Stress Self Care
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SLP Stress Less Pinterest

With a new school year here and many of us already back at school and (yikes!) even seeing students already, you are bound to start having those dreaded, stressful thoughts that you left on your desk at the end of the year, start to find their way back to you.

Even if you are excited and feeling recharged form the summer break, you might find your thoughts starting to flicker back an forth between excitement and anxiety, the familiar pull that you know will eventually take over by the end of the year. I don’t mean to paint a dark and dreary picture for you, but to show that you are not alone in this. If you have ever felt the exhaustion of chronic stress or burn out, you know that it can slowly creep in and take over before you realize what has happened.

That is the bad news.

The good news is that this usually only happens because we go through the same cycle each year or excitement about the start of the new year and all that it could bring right on to the reality of the work it entails and then the sheer exhaustion it brings by Summertime. For most, this cycle gets slightly more difficult each passing school year, because the few months in the summer, where you could really take time to recharge and create some changes in your work-life balance, are spent ignoring the feelings while you relax for a few months, or you work like crazy in a PRN job or running errands all summer. (more…)

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28Aug

Manage Your Stress Better All Year Long

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Reduce Stress Self Care
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Manage Stress PinterestAt the start of a new school year or new season, there is often this rush of excitement, and readiness for a change or fresh perspective. It lasts for awhile, but then it can feel as if, quite swiftly at times, the perspective shifts and you are right back in the midst of stress, overwhelm and exhaustion. You start to wonder if there is a way you can manage your stress better.

Paperwork has piled up, you aren’t enjoying your time with students/clients, and you are starting to feel drained, or even anxious, from your work. You feel exactly like you did before the year/season started, and you know that it is only going to pile up. Again. And it seems to get a little worse each time.

So you push through until the next break, and start the cycle all over again, hoping that one day it will get just a little better. On that day, you’ll have more time, more freedom, more energy, more drive, more…enjoyment for life and work.

You just have to wait a little longer for it to happen…one day.

But then things continue in the cycle of stress and release and more stress, all while growing more irritable at work and at home, until one day you decide to switch jobs or quit altogether.

Does this story sound familiar?

This was my everyday routine (and sometimes I get drawn back into it for a moment before snapping out of it again), and one that most SLPs I know are stuck in as well.

We are always fighting stress and trying to find ways to work more efficiently, enjoy it better and not drown in paperwork, stress and exhaustion.

We, as SLPs, are struggling. And stress is the reason why. (more…)

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10Jul

What to Ask Yourself Before You Quit Your SLP Job or Career

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Career Advice Goal Setting New SLP Reduce Stress
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quit your SLP job

Quit SLP Job Pinterest

Being an SLP can be incredibly wonderful at times, and at other times incredibly stressful. A great deal of this stress comes from the parts of the job that are outside of the therapy realm and often seem to have more and more rules around them, such as paperwork and productivity rates. Some of the stress, though, comes from the nature of the job itself. As SLPs, it is our job and our mission to help people communicate, nourish and thrive, as best they can with the situation they are in. Our schooling and career are set up around us being able to give our tine and energy to these, sometimes without a break during the day. It is highly rewarding at times, and also highly frustrating and draining. It can be enough to make you want to quit your SLP job at times.  (more…)

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10Apr

Are You Feeling Bitter About Your SLP Job?

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Journal Techniques for SLPs Self Care
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Are You Feeling Bitter Pinterest

What is the first thing that floats through your mind when you hear “It’s time to go to work?”. Are you filled with purpose, albeit a little exhaustion, or are you filled with dread, stress and, even, bitterness?

If you used to be really excited about your career and the changes you would make in people’s lives, or the difference you could make in the world, but now you just think about how there are only 5 more days until Friday, you are starting to experience bitterness. This bitter attitude towards your work and job can start out small, but, if not recognized and managed, can be the thing that makes you dream about quitting your job and leaves you feeling unfulfilled in your life.

A few years ago, bitter was all I felt about my work. It was like I was trapped each day and living a life I wasn’t happy in and my job was the thing to blame for it. Going into the same place each day with no flexibility to my schedule, no fresh air, and no freedom left me feeling drained. I grew so bitter each day that I really didn’t find any enjoyment out of the work, even when I had colleagues who were in the same field or other professions who were stressed and overwhelmed too. I felt like maybe I was in the wrong career. No matter what, I just felt bitter and eventually quit.

After I quit, I started doing mindfulness practices and learned about self-care, coaching, meditation and more. I taught yoga and mind-body fitness classes, and blogged about eating healthy and feeling good in your body. It wasn’t until after I cam back that I realized all fo that work was simply me trying to heal my bitterness. And it was only then that I realized my bitterness was caused by burn out. (more…)

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3Apr

How to Come Back After Break without Feeling Anxious, Stressed or Burnt Out

Posted by: Jessi Andricks Categories: Burn Out Reduce Stress Self Care
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SLP Spring Break Pinterest

This week might be one of the most important weeks when it comes to mindfulness and taking care of yourself. As an SLP, you are constantly on the go, either driving or running from patient to patient, or shifting from groups to classes to paperwork or meetings, or even just seeing client after client after client with little break in between. There are times when you might not even have a change to stop and grab a snack or a drink, let alone run to the restroom, or even sit in silence for a moment to collect your thoughts. It is one of the reasons that time off becomes so important for mental well-being.

It is also the reason it is so hard to come back after a break.

It is no joke, coming back from a break is really tough when you are feeling even one tiny bit of burn out. It can seem like all hope is lost and that everything is bad, harder and not as it should be. It might even feel like your job is sucking the soul out of your life. That sounds dramatic, but I know many can relate. (more…)

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