Perfectionism is something that a LOT of SLPs deal with each day – sometimes as a result of being an SLP and going through the rigorous (often unrelenting) grad school process, and also, sometimes, it is what makes the field and training seem enticing. 

Perfectionism can seem like a great thing – always getting it done and doing it right, no room for nonsense or errors. It can seem powerful and strong, but it can also be really harmful. No mistakes allowed is not realistic. Constantly trying to do more and do better and do best is not sustainable. Always being strong and powerful, with no give and no flexibility, can cause you to break. Making an error or not knowing something leads to imposter syndrome and feeling like you are “not good enough”.

And all of these contribute to major stress, overwhelm and burnout.

I know, because I can relate and have dealt with this myself. 

My Mom recently told me, when I asked her what my biggest behavior challenge was growing up, “Nothing like that. We would just have to try to convince you to put down the [school] books and stop studying.”

Growing up, I was an overachiever without realizing it. I was really hard on myself for not getting the top scores on standardized tests, not winning the entire school spelling bee, not making it into the gifted program on the first try, or not being seen as cool enough by my peers. All of this and more before the age of 10. Ugh.

In later years, it became competitions with my best friend to see who could get the better grade or SAT score. And then, after a brief stint of having no expectations for myself in college, it kicked back up so I could get into my one choice of grad school. And when I got there, I realized, my perfectionism was not just an inner expectation, but an outer expectation from the school itself. But with juggling a LOT of life stuff at this point, my school work was not perfect (but it was absolutely great) and so I would forever feel the “not good enough”, “we expected more”, “ we thought you could do better” that followed me into my career as an SLP. 

And, unfortunately, after talking and working with 100s of SLPs about this, I know I am not alone. Perfectionism often drives us into our career choice, and serves us well early on, but it can also be the thing that leads straight into chronic stress, overwhelm, burnout and the feeling of not knowing, doing, or being good enough. 

It took me a lot of time (5 years away from the field) to really work through this, and I still deal with it every day, at work and at home. I often have feelings of not being productive enough, not doing my share enough, and knowing I could have done more, if only. 

But there are also things that I know can help my work through my perfectionism, and my yoga practice has been #1 in helping me do this. Time after time, yoga helps me work on my perfectionism, among other things. I started practicing more and more as I went through grad school and into my career as an SLP, eventually training to teach yoga. When I feel stress and perfectionism creep in, it is my go to, and often something I had stopped doing in order to tighten up on being perfect in another area. 

My practice has been a true light for me. It started as a fun physical activity, and has become a foundation for how I live my life. 

Here are some (honest) ways yoga helps me work on my perfectionism:

• My practice is rarely perfect
  • I’ve been teaching for 10 years, and practicing for about 5 more. But it does not mean it is always pretty or that every pose is perfect. In fact, a lot of the time the practice rarely is. 
  • I wobble. I fall. Some days I am strong and others I am weak. Somedays I am flexible and others I feel like I might snap. 
  • I have one pose I have been working on for almost 15 YEARS. And I finally feel like I am making some progress. That is a far cry from perfectionism and it feels damn good. 
• It challenges me to try new things
  • I never would have tried some of the poses or stood on my head or known I could balance on my arms (sometimes) if my practice had never challenged me to do so. 
  • It helps me to jump into something that I may not be perfect at, to explore it as something new, and to know that, because it is new and a challenge, that it might take time (15 years or so) to achieve it – and then there is always more to do. 
• It challenges me to grow and expand what I think I know – new ways of doing things
  • It is really easy to get stuck in thinking that my way of doing things is the best way (we all feel this way at times, sometimes pretty often). Yoga helps me see that there are a LOT of different ways to do something. YOu can do the same pose day after day and feel it differently or get to it a different way each time, and you end up with a totally different experience. You can go into a pose from so many different angles or poses and it changes it too. 
  • As a teacher, I get to see how each student and each class varies, and how things can work or backfire differently for each one. 
  • Yoga has helped me see there is no “perfect” way to do something, and that different approaches work at different times. 
• Sit with the uncomfortable
  • Being perfect is often used to ward off any feelings and thoughts that are uncomfortable. If I (you) am (are) perfect, then there will be no bad feelings, no backlash, nothing uncomfortable to sit with. And of course, this backfires and creates a ton of uncomfortable feelings (like stress) and these continue to feed the control of perfectionism. 
  • Yoga helps me to sit with the uncomfortable, in my body and my thoughts. While taking a meditation, I sit with what shows up, which can sometimes be tension in my body or unkind thoughts. The practice teaches me to just breathe, sit with them, explore them, and remain less attached to them. 
  • During the physical practice, things are NOT always comfortable. But I am cued (by my teacher or myself) to stick with it, focus on breathing, and see what shows up, what shifts, and what I can learn from that discomfort (sharp shooting pains, always move out of the pose, FYI). 
• There are days when I feel like I nailed it, and others when I think it went all wrong.
  • This is so true, especially for meditation. Some days I feel like I conquered the practice. I was perfect, went beyond what was asked and really enjoyed it. And other days I struggle with the basics, am asked to do something that I haven;t yet mastered (and am therefore far from perfect), or my mind wanders all the way through my guided meditation audio and I realized I heard nothing they dais beyond “take a seat”. 
  • These days are hard, but remind me that it is a practice. It is not meant to be perfect. And life is the same way. 
• Some days are really, really, unpredictably difficult
  • After practicing, and doing physically demanding classes (and things like running), I expect (aha, perfectionism alert) that my class will be easy. But there are many, many times that a simple, basic class is unpredictably difficult. I feel tight, tired and stiff, my breath feels tuck instead of flowing, and my mind is anything but focused. 
  • It teaches me that, even with training and planning, things happen. Being human happens. Life happens. And we can either get mad at it, or go with it, learn from it and keep on moving. 
• It is never ending and there is no “perfect”
  • Even with the poses that I have learned, or with a style I am familiar with, there is no perfect. It is a practice. It never ends. Once you learn a pose and can do it without difficulty, there are still ways to deepen, to do more and learn more and take it further. Forever and ever and ever. There is no real perfect, only the process. 

All of these things, and many more, I have grown and worked through with the help of my yoga practice. It remains, after many years, a constant (even when my practice looks very different over the years) in helping me work through perfectionism, and manage my stress and overwhelm overall. 

If you would like to try out a practice, to help you work through some perfectionism, make sure to sign up for the SLP Toolbox for FREE yoga practice audios. You can subscribe below. (Already a member? Click here to access).

You can also download the “Mindful Movement Weekly Planner” available in the SLP Stress Management Shop, to help you start your journey and see how it helps you when you are practicing regularly. The Planner includes a journal and printable planner pages (or use in a digital pdf app), guiding you through what types of yoga (mindful movement) you want to try and when. The planner part takes you through the week, from creating your plan, keeping track of what you are doing and when, and then reviewing how it went and what your next steps are.

It is now currently 50% off (along with the entire SLP Stress Management Shop) for Better Hearing and Speech Month.

Do you practice yoga? How has it helped you with perfectionism, or how do you imagine it might help you? Leave in the comments below!

Much Love, 

Jessi